Monday morning dawns bright and sunny. She wakes up to the incessant knocking at her door, she looks at her watch, DAMN ! it’s only 6:15, but she’s got to get up now even though she slept only at 3:45.
She goes downstairs and as she descends she hears a “ wOnDerFuL” cry of welcome,
“ AAhAA vanthuta maharani…kizha irangi vanthutaa Rani !” ( Aaa, the Great queen has come, she has come down, the queen!) She sighs, and walks into the spacious dining hall. The golden sunlight shines through the windows reflecting off the resplendent polished silver and sparkling crystal in the cupboards. It was a beautiful day, as beautiful as any other day seemed but never was.
She sees HIM..tousled hair and majestic moustache, regally sitting at the table, his sharp eyes ignoring her and reading the newspaper..she looked at him with a longing deep inside her heart, staring at him , memories of wonderful times spent together flooding and clouding her already throbbing head.
THE KID snaps her out of her reverie shouting at her..” Hey YOU !, you do the outside, I’ll look after the inside”…
The Kid – once sweet, loving, and nice. She still is and will always be..to them but not anymore to her. The Kid much more loved for her obedience, her undemanding ways and her homeliness. But all that or nothing, she was nothing like her, never would be what she was or ever will be. Even then,The Kid was much more loved while she was just tolerated.
She walks outside and gets greeted, a genuine heartfelt greeting from two beings who have no need for any pretensions with her. THE DOGS – softly barking, lovingly jumping and prancing around her…her best friends and she smiles for the first and last time that morning – an unpretentious ,genuine smile…
Sadly, good ain’t good enough to last forever and now not even a minute longer for she saw HER..beautiful yet ugly, kind yet cruel, loving as well as hating.. a contradictory personality who’s good is reserved for The Man and The Kid and the rest as usual..for who else…?!
A jeer..” What are you doing there playing with the dogs, are they going to give you your food? “
** I wish they did, I really wish they did, they’d give it with a better heart than you ever will**
“ Pick up the broom!! “
She picks it up and sweeps away the dirty dry leaves from the vaasal ( front entrance of a house) wishing she could do the same thing with her life. She sweeps it clean and sprinkles water neatly. If only life could be cleansed as easily as this.
Even though it was perfectly done, The Woman couldn’t resist screeching, “ Can’t you even do this simple job efficiently? Take away those piles of leaves!! Look how many spots u have missed! Sprinkle the water all over again..when will you learn, oh god!! What will I do!!”
** screech on woman!! **
“ Bitch!, you don’t even know a single simple kolam! Call The Kid!”
** yeah, yeah..what do I know anyway?? The Kid..Oh yes she knows everything**
She calls The Kid and goes inside the house. The Man sipping his tea, gives her a glance but does not say anything.
The kitchen was at its busiest in the mornings. Everyone was there yet she feels stationary as things around her moved so fast…more taunts, more sneers..
“ Can’t you even scrape a carrot without making a mess of it?”
“ Look at the amount of water u have spilt on the floor, I know you are out to get me..you want me to fall don’t you?”
“ Clean it up you incompetent idiot!!”
Then some peace, sipping her coffee, enveloped in her thoughts…. HE speaks now
“ They haven’t given you coffee to sit here and while away your time! Get back to the kitchen! You bring out the worst in everyone!”
** Et tu….? **
Work and some more work, finally everyone heads upstairs to get ready..she sits in her room unmoving while they bustle around outside. One by one they leave – The Man to make more money and be busy, The Kid to better (butter?!) her brains, but someone hasn’t left yet.
The Woman walks into the room !
“ You uncooperative bitch ! Can’t you get ready like the rest of us? Look at your room! Squalor I say!! Absolute squalor..! how can u live here? Your room is a disgrace to this house and you are a disgrace to the people who live here.. How much more uncooperative can you get? I hope you die a slow death ..can’t you help us out? We are all in a rush , all you do is sit around staring into space…I hope when you die you ache and writhe in pain. Why don’t you just kill yourself ?? You want me to help you? I’ll give you a dose of arsenic, I do know how to kill you without anyone ever suspecting me, do u know that?
I’ll make you want to tear yourself apart in pain…my curses are with you, I hope you fall unto ruin ..you are never going to succeed in anything ..now I know why you’ve failed so many times it’s because of my curses;our curses will always be upon you!!
The sooner you leave this household the better, then atleast we can all live in peace…have u no mouth? Don’t u have anything to say? How will you? I own everything you think you own, even the clothes you wear..hhahahahaa…”
She looks up into The Woman’s eyes so full of fury but somewhere underneath the anger, she detects a milli micron of love from where the fury stemmed.
** I don’t want to speak back, because I am leaving and the fewer words I say, the better,because I’ll leave soon; so don’t worry!!**
The Woman exits screaming and cursing leaving her cruel words hanging in the air, in every nook and corner. Now she goes, she goes to be kind and to provide care to the hundreds who come to her.
The Elders enter the house, bickering as usual even though it was a beautiful and special day for them. She feels at blame for this also as everything had changed once The Elders had left the house. They left because of her…because of her….
Unhappiness and misery are things that man makes for himself but she made it for them, loads and loads of it.
She will leave soon, as promised but a question loomed from inside the darkness of her soul….To leave forever never to return or To just leave and not bother for now ….
She lets the questions fade away into oblivion, into the darkness again .
** I will leave , but I leave to show them who I really am**
With a determined smile, somewhere inside her a lamp had been lit to drive away the darkness of despair….
