les mots noirs

Changes.

2011-08-29T23:37:00.001-07:00

On Tumblr now as well and lovin' it.
http://soiseesoisay.tumblr.com

2010-10-20T11:30:00.000-07:00

one over the other

hop skip jump

clean your wings

lick your lips

fly over junk

i, i know you

you all have some

in that secret place

in your heart

in his head

in the closets

come out. come out

it's a love story of limbs

one unto another

we'll look away

won't we?

like we always do

i know

i know.

fuck these flies

always around us.

2010-10-19T16:00:00.000-07:00

anything can happen.

stumble through the sun.

you're a kaleidoscope in black.

waves and whispers.

put one foot before the other.

walk with yourself.

silence is still noise.

all you have to do is listen.

keep it in.

no, smile a little.

keep it real.

yes, feel a little.

try life.

try love.

anything can happen.

even happiness.

Jogi Preaches ~

2010-07-04T22:00:00.000-07:00

THE RE-CAP: First time I've had a class on a Sunday.

1. This is a new Threshold, enter it, don't step out.. it's a one way now.

2. We're learning to learn.

3. Design is a discipline that changes the way you connect to everything and everyone around you. It is life-altering and changing.

4. Design is a way of life, to every other field there are two separate things, a career and a personal life... but design IS your life, this is what you love doing, there need be no split in your persona.

5. Leave your baggage behind, embrace openness and your capacity to listen, even if you don't agree.

6. Till now, we had become used to a particular way of thinking, learning, living - we are unlearning it all now, so that we can be open to everything else. Lets break our conditioning !

7. From memory-based learning to merit-based learning.

8. From brain-waste to full use of your brain not just the right or left side of it, but all of it, finding the perfect balance.

9. Don't be secretive, be open.. share and learn.

10. Recognize your peers, spend time with them. Learn from them, Never look down upon anybody.

11. Design is a way of being.

12. We're going to design the future, change the world. Get comfortable with it.

13. New tools : Plan backwards, finish assignments, phase it out, don't procrastinate. Finish things when they're supposed to be finished.

14. Use THAT moment that you are in to learn ! Interact !!

15. Show that there is a growth... just for yourself first !!

Don't relax just because you are good at something. Always, always strive to do better than your best.

You have to progress, not stagnate !

In the end you have to be better than you started out with.

16. Keep a Journal - learn words/phrases, note things down.. Your questions especially.

17. Rest right, sleep the nights, eat good.

18. Be a good student.

19. Chuck your attitudes and masks, you don't need to impress anyone. Don't have a false sense of yourself, no victimhood, no shit. Don't be a victim of your past... this is your ground zero.

20. Don't stay at minimum requirement. Assignments are ladders you use to climb up. Don't compare yourself to others. Your ladder can take fifty rungs while someone else's may only take ten while anothers' might take seventy. Getting to the top using the best of your abilities, thats what matters! not the rungs on your ladder.

21. The Role of a Studio is central, - Learn from everything, tune into the space, be aware of what's going on around you and always contribute, help in creating an open atmosphere of learning!

This is your central workspace where you learn, show, collect, create, and share.

22. At the end of the day, what are we becoming ? - We become people who are able to appreciate quality in everything around us.

23. We need to know things, how materials work and more, to design according to the time, resources and other requirements.

24. Make networks ! Not just designers and design students but even people you meet otherwise, everyone is a resource for knowledge even the guy on the street. To partner with when needed, to share, collaborate with and learn from !

25. Share your inspirations - books, music, websites, network using that as well. Read more, know more.

Keep connecting with people.

26. Connect and work with NGO's at some point in your life. Bring people you can learn from to your other peers, so you can all learn from them together.

27. Have a blog.

28. Good words : ENGAGE - with things, with mutual respect, give and take.

DISCOVER - the new, newer experiences, opportunities.

MAKE - It's only when you make, that you are made !!

CONNECT - Everything will work back with you.

ASPIRE. ENJOY. BECOME.

29. Make sure you are growing everyday, if you haven't , pause and think why, what happened to slow you down. Everyday is a chance for learning - every little thing and moment.

30. Always stay motivated.

La la la LA. la. - A few Notes from Unlearning.

2010-07-03T21:12:00.000-07:00

When we were asked to go out to the grounds and bring stuff in, so that we could make compositions using the material....why didn't we actually explore and go through all of the campus ?? We had been given 2 hours, but we only went to the ground right outside class. We perused, but we did not feel it truly. We concenterated more on procuring than truly experiencing... On the goal, more than the process.

WE LIMIT OURSELVES. WHY ?

When we made compositions and later portable versions of the same... Why did we have to a concept ? A story ? Why couldn't it just have been ??

WE GET CONFUSED, WHEN GIVEN FREEDOM.

- Don't narrow yourself down, saying you love this or hate this or that... or that you only want to do this and not that -

Be broad-minded, don't just think of "why"s think of the "why-not"s !!

Be open, share, learn from other's work, don't hold it against them.

Don't make yourself an island, Don't be secretive about your work... be interested in everything and everyone around you, you'll never truly learn when you only focus on yourself.

Design Teachers don't oppose you...they are here with you.

Don't plug into your pod and tune out of what's happening around you. Anything can be an inspiration.

BE A PART OF WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW !!

Get comfortable with your place in this world, what a designer does, who you are, what you do and what you are going to do. Get excited about everything, and keep collecting inspirations. Always keep a journal !!

Unless you know what question to ask, you won't get the right answers.

EXPRESSION OF YOUR PERSONAL OPINION EVEN IF NO ONE ELSE GETS YOU, SHOULD NOT MAKE YOU ANTI-SOCIAL.

Design is not 2x2=4.

Anybody who comes up with innovations, your mom, other artisans, artists, people on the streets, off it or on it, anybody is your Design Peer. Learn from them !!

Universal Design is design that caters to everybody.

NATURE MADE DISABILITIES, WE MADE HANDICAPS.

Drawing something, is like drawing from a well. We are all wells, but you can only draw from a well if there is water in it.. so experience.touch.learn.feel.observe.take it all in. Drawing is not just visual. You need water in your well. Reproduce your sensations in your work.

Artists express their inner struggle or their interpretation of issues outside or around them, that is why they're often controversial, because they express it so.

We become different because our insights and thoughts on things change - because we think differently, not because of how we live, how we look etc., but because we interpret, receive, feel, think things differently with much more meaning or lesser or differently or as such.

THAT IS WHY WE MAYBE PERCEIVED TO BE DIFFERENT.

Not because of anything else. Don't mix it up.

We have to get out of the Linear way of thinking things, this one sided way of looking at things realistically, learn to attribute, symbolise, imagine !!

Emotions make it real. Try other perceptions, abstract, unreal !! The lines between Abstract, real, Real abstract and Abstract-real are very thin.

Being Fashionable is nothing but being relevant in the moment. "The buzz" so to speak.

" I don't agree with what you're saying, but I will fight to death than take away your right to speak your mind"

- On Freedom of Expression.

OH NOES !

2010-07-02T21:01:00.000-07:00

So here I am at Design School, our first few days were devoted to a Threshold Programme, where we UNLEARNED with Mr. Joginder Pangal, a famous designer who was in the first batch at NID.

Anyhow.. during "Unlearning" and over how Abstract is this and that and Real is also Abstract, but Abstract is not Real,you see...This is pretty much how I felt. I'm still opening my mind to all that is to come, so . Yay? anyone??!! Ha !

Words are like you and me, they all have meaning.

2010-07-02T01:26:00.000-07:00

In its mind swirled,
the sky, the soil,
the sun, the sand.
They swirled and twirled,
into the black cosmos of its own making.

What was it? You would never know,
It held all, made all.
It contained all.

Colors of yellow, green,
brown - white,
blue and black.
From shallow withins and deeps without.

It brought all, mixed all.
It created all.

Feelings of joy, sorrow,
pain and gain.
Sensations both hard and smooth; soft and rough;
"IT" was in the making,
A black-hole of promise,
In an universe of emptiness.

- Poem that randomly appeared during Story-telling assignment, tried to think of the abstract, still ended up with the real, sounds nice when read aloud, well officially my first poem at design school -

Shutterspective

2010-06-07T22:09:00.000-07:00

My very own Photography page is here, and as usual, I'm a bit haphazard with updations, but I'm working on it !!
I've called it Shutterspective Photography, which would you believe, no one has thought of using before ( I googled to check, yes I did :P )

SHUTTERSPECTIVE - (noun)

With reference to Photography, the Shutter is a device and mechanism in a camera that allows light to pass through it, for the purpose of exposing the film or sensor in the camera to the light, so that one may capture a permanent image of an object, place, person or any random odd thing that depicts :

1. a) A view or a Vista
b) A mental view or outlook

2. The appearance of objects in depth or as perceived by normal vision.

3. a) The relationship of aspects of a particular subject to each other, and to a whole.
b) Subjective evaluation of relative significance (i.e) a point of view
c) The ability to perceive things in their actual interrelations or comparative importance

Anyhow here's the link : Shutterspective Photography

Atmos Cafe - Random Design Work

2010-05-19T23:40:00.000-07:00

Doodles

2010-05-18T05:36:00.000-07:00

Belle in the Woods - style random storyline that disappeared as soon as it appeared

Bars

2010-03-03T05:15:00.000-08:00

Fountain-Pen Ink on Ivory Paper

Criteria

2010-02-17T05:12:00.000-08:00

Water-Color and Mixed Media on Ivory Paper.

- The paper cuttings are from the matrimonial section of a Tamil weekly -

About Love,

2010-02-14T01:55:00.000-08:00

There was supposed to be an article at the end of this.... but.. well, I think what people said themselves was quite enough, it might take you about 10 minutes to read through all of this, but it will be worth it and it will stay with you for a long time after... I went around asking people over sms's, and chat and facebook about why they love the person in their life... and this is what I got, divided into his and hers.

THE BOY- MEN SPEAK :

I guess it's because of what she means to me you know? I mean I can never feel what I feel for her with anybody else… She makes me feel so good about myself, and she makes me WANT to spend every moment of my life with her.

There are a million reasons why I love her and when I come to really think of it there is no need of reason. I hope you get what I mean.

I don't have a reason, don’t need one… Its love, when has logic ever applied? There are a million things I like about her but I'm pretty sure there are other people who have those qualities too, but I'm not in love with them, am I ? I'm with her !! So no, I don't really have a reason.

I love her because I couldn't help but love her … and a bundle of other reasons that I couldn't see in anyone else but her.

She interests me. I interest her. I smile involuntarily when I look at her. She intrigues me. I can't read her entirely. She's not possessive or to be possessed. There is freedom in this love.

She made me feel complete and at peace with myself.

I just cannot define why I love her… it's something which I feel from inside that makes me connect with her… as the saying goes " Love is blind " for me it's true in the sense that till today even after all these years, I don't know why I love her… It's just a blind jump that we took after we clicked. For such relationships to go over the long distance and the long years to come, it has to go beyond physical appearance or any other attributes… It just comes down to being with the person you're most comfortable with.

I loved her because she accepted who I was. She understood that nobody is perfect and loved me even when she knew my flaws. She was my total opposite, yet she loved me. Even though we were so different from each other, we felt a strong connection between us since the day we first met. I think its all about not having to look across at each other in life , but to look together in the same direction at life.

I loved her because I really like her a lot. She was there with me whenever I needed someone. I could talk to her about anything under the sun. We had so many common interests and we always had a good time when we were around each other.

I love her because she is crazy and she is beautiful for it. We've mutually decided to be with each other, it could have been with anyone, but she and I did and we're very happy.

Falling in love just happens, there are no reasons. It's more like a realization… Love is just a feeling… a state of being!!

I loved her because at that moment she fit my definition of love. To me love is not something fixed; it's very dynamic it keeps on changing as the two people grow into and with each other. So what is today 2+2 = 4 may not be the same tomorrow. I loved her at that point in time because that’s what I thought love to be.

I don’t know right now. I guess you just love them. I'm honest enough to know that I've not found the one yet and I'm thankfully mature enough to not foolishly go searching for her. When it happens, it will.

I love her because she's a fantastic person, companion and friend and she is everything that I've been looking for in the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with… and that's something I didn't discover until I actually started living with her. (Married)

I love her because she totally gets me and it's just so simple with her.

I love her because she gets me like nobody else does and she makes me feel very special.

Certain things they did or thought matched with my actions and thoughts.

For me it was mainly because we both shared the same ideals, same outlook, the rebelliousness etc., so basically it was an emotional and philosophical thing. Plus she was independent, smart and very sure of herself. We clicked right from day one!

Personality, being comfortable around them and as simple as the fact that I could laugh with them all the time over anything and everything.

I love them because they were and are with me when I most needed them.

It’s a moment that just happens, a revelation... You don’t really see reason after a point.

Well because she understands or at least makes a sincere effort to understand this supremely complex mind of mine. I've found her standing by me in every possible circumstance. She is the one I find solace in. The one I can confide in.

I loved her because of what she was with me, the way she made me feel. I loved the way she loved her independence, her virtues and her stubborn stand on so many things. I loved the way she laughs; it got me thinking always…made me feel so content always like a moment I'd love to freeze. I still love her laugh.

There's no reason, it's been 7 years. 4 since we broke up. And I'm still searching for the reason in me, I don’t know why… I still love her, haven’t looked at another girl.

She loves me, so I love her for who she is, which is someone who makes me feel real good. Trust, love, security, everything I get from her makes me love her all the more.

I love her and it just happened. One day the way I saw her just changed, I don't remember when, or what or how… but it did. I think it’s a matter of a moment or a day or a night, sometime it happens without you even knowing it and when you realize you can't help but give in. That's why they say you fall in love, because you really, truly do fall

I will love her because I can paint a picture with her in the future; I want to be able to visualize things in the future with her.

I love her because there is a great deal of fondness and understanding and I smile every time I think of her.

The only other people who love us so much are our blood relations, so when someone else loves me unconditionally like that, how can I not love them back. Love is caring, sharing, adjusting to whatever situation we both face. She gives me her hands in support at any time, otherwise it wouldn't be love. It isn't just all about happiness it is also about the strength to face and mount over any obstacle presented.

I was in love with her because I was very comfortable; I could talk to her about anything… No communication gaps, no formalities and I knew her so well I could almost complete her sentences.

I love her because of so many reasons. Not one but many. She helps me find my inner peace. She is my companion, my soul mate, my best friend and she allows me to express myself in way I could never with others. She turns me on as a person. She helps me grow. She stimulates my intelligence, my creativity, my vision. She is the reason I want to be more.

Well, I love her for who she is and because she makes me complete. (Married)

It’s a feeling. What is love, anyway? Love is the purest form of friendship, the person you love has to be your best friend as well as certain things beyond that. They are there for you. You're genuinely happy for each other without any conditions.. expecting them to go against their nature and hurt themselves to make you happy is not love. It has to be mutual. It has to have acceptance.

This is really vague. I love her idiosyncrasies, the way she can abate my seriousness or sadness or misery by saying something that makes me smile.

I'm completely sold on love being a farce, a figment of imagination rather. Even if it does exist, it doesn't apply to 99% of the people who say they are in love, or that they love someone….for most people it is a blanket you pull over yourself to make you feel better.

I like love her because she is 1.Very good looking. 2. Caring/Lovable. 3. I think she is the one for me.

I love her because we are friends first and then lovers… we don't go all lovey-dovey and stuff…and neither do we try flaunting it to others. We know we are in love, that's it. No insecurities. To quote Bollywood, I could say "Pyaar dosti hai yaar".

I love her not just for one reason… She is trustworthy, she is my best friend, she is a good human being above all this. Pretty, cute, funny, mischievous, egotistical, I love it all, especially the way she loves me. And as much as I make fun of the way she speaks, walks, eats, talks, I wouldn't change anything about her. I love her for who she is.

I loved her so that we could share joy, sorrow and support each other. Everyone gets lonely you know… Love solves this anomaly, it's not really describable.

It's complicated. She is the only one who understands me and does not care what I did in the past. She is not shallow like most other girls because she actually, genuinely cares about everybody. I can tell her anything and she will try to understand it… she tries and then she accepts…She is herself with me, completely… always frank… The truth is, I've never been this happy with anyone or on my own. I love making her happy. (Very young love)

Love really has no reason, but if you're asking for that special chemistry, I'd say that she's someone who understands and accepts me the way I am… and its like this instant emotion, that you get with this one person in your life and for me it happened with her, and what can I say, I'm a lucky man !

I loved her because she changed something in me for the better.

She's intelligent, understanding, doesn't breathe down my neck and is very supportive. (Married)

I love her because humans aren't designed to go through their lives alone and love is basically friendship and great sex :P I mean as cliched at it sounds, she is my best friend too.

I love her because she brings out a side of me that I never knew existed. She makes me want to fulfill every dream of hers. I was never that kind of guy, but she made me think about the future, about wanting to be somewhere with her and getting there and still being close to her...and when my bike ran out of fuel, 40kms outside the city, 8.30pm in the night, she pushed the bike alongside me saying " Don't worry...This is sooooo cool " How can I not love this girl !!

I love her because she makes it so easy. She is the first person to ask me how I am, and really mean it. When I am with her it's the most amazing experience, and when I'm not I know it's where I need to be. There are just so many little things that work between us. We have literally been like an old married couple from the time we met and it's unlike anything I've ever known. Loving her makes me truly happy.

It's silly. I loved him because he could make me laugh, there was a lot of teasing, jokin' around. Funniness and fun. You know like when you can call someone out on everything ? Yeah...like that.

I love her because she cares...a LOT. Very committed. Very loveable. Very cute.

Well she was sweet, had a nice personality, similar interests and yeah the physical thing..the attraction... Not really love is it ...they call it an infatuation or a crush.

It's hard to define or say why I'm in love with her, but I am. It's got a lot to do with dreams of our life together. It started with attraction that developed into something much more deep and meaningful. It's hard to say how or why it happened, but I'm so happy it did.

I loved her because I just liked that person.I mean, I don't know...I just loved her. 2 years of not speakin to her verbally, not even eye contact but seeing her go through her life...and then suddenly one fine day...I just loved her.

AND THE GIRL- WOMEN SPEAK

I love him because he makes me feel complete… as in I'm just completely myself with him and also because I can trust him blindly.

I was drawn to how intellectually stimulated I felt around him, how he gave me something to think about and it wasn't some mindless, vapid shit. It was actual conversation. It's also about all the small things like being around him, liking the same music etc. that started things off

For the record, I don't really love him. I'm with him because I like him a lot. I care for him because we have fun together and I want to see where this goes for us. I love my best friend because no matter what he says, whatever manipulative crap he pulls on me, no matter the worst ways he finds to hurt me; he always, always comes back and tries to make it ok… and slowly now, his walls are falling away and he is letting me in. I love because he demands honesty even when it hurts him the most, and he always gives the same 100% honesty back even if he knows it will make his life miserable. I love him because he listens to just himself and makes his own call however stupid or silly it may seem to the rest of us and yet when he does realize he's wrong… he's man enough to admit it.

I love him because he seemed to be the perfect embodiment of all my wants and wishes.

I love him because he is he and I am I, and together We. Just. Are.

I love him because with him I am myself and I don't have to be even one bit hesitant to express what I feel. He is my best friend and with him it's so much fun. It doesn't feel like I'm with my "Boyfriend" when I'm around him. There is so much ease. There are also a ton of stupid fights and serious arguments but we can still work over them without worrying about where it would end, because he and I are forever !

Because I just love him, I love everything about him and also because he loves me back unconditionally.

Well basically, I've spent so much time around him, getting to know him and he's grown on me, you know what I mean? And then you get the feeling that he is important to you and plus he is someone who I can talk to anytime of the day, be silly or be myself and have a lot of fun with.

You don't need a reason to be in love ya !! I still haven't been in love Haha!

He is that part of me who I share everything with – my pillar of support, strength, even a father figure at times. I can be what I want to be around him. I hate addressing him as my husband because husbands and wives usually breathe down each other's backs, but as friends we really share. He gives me the freedom to be the individual I was before I got married, which is very important to me. There is nothing I can hide from him, he is a very good and patient listener. He's like a coach, sort of :D who shows me the way when I get lost and if need be, he walks with me on my path. (Married)

I love him because he is really smooth and we get along really well. He fits my character to a T. He's also very adjusting. I don’t really care for money and etc., because he knows what I need and he'll earn it up for me. So I'm not really bothered.

I think I love him because he's so nice to me and I get to be myself no matter and speak my mind and I can relate to stuff he says and feels…what I really want to do is give him atleast a little bit of the happiness that he overdoses me on everyday.

I love him because he takes care of me , works hard at it too and its not for money or for sex, it is to keep me happy and smiling, we do a lot of things together and he loves me a lot and lets me see it from him. He's very protective and worries if I'm away from him. He can be a good friend and good boyfriend at the same time. I love him because he is handsome and interesting and with him I can speak about everything and I feel very good when I am around him.

If I feel him and when I do, I can see everything I can handle or not, in him and when all this pheelingsu is mutual, then love happens :D

He makes me feel good, gives me motivation to do things I otherwise wouldn't do. He is there for me when I need him and he knows what exactly to say when I really need someone to say the right thing and be there for me.

I love him because he is the only one who makes me feel that special way inside, and lol…He's just irresistible.

I love him because he listens, guides, reads my thoughts, understands me, emphathises, does good to humanity and is simple at heart. He has a 100watt smile that can make my day and a laugh that can sway me away.

Little, little things like his smile, the way he would trouble me for no reason at all, the crazy stuff, the understanding reassurances, the witty banter, the ability to move from mischievous needy child to a sensible, caring and kind man… all these things and more made me think I was in love with him.

I love him because he makes me feel like I'm better than any other girl out there.

I loved him for what he was. I liked being around him because he made me happy, he made me feel things that I normally would not have experienced, especially not just with "anybody".

I love how simple it is for them to make me happy. I love the passion, the caresses, the possessiveness. But forcing yourself to love and be committed only makes things worse. I've learnt a lot of lessons from so called awesome relationships that went onto fail. Love is more about loving yourself and knowing when to let go and give unto others.

I loved him because it felt real. Because I liked him for whoever he is, whatever made him that way.

I love him because he's super adorable and very understanding and funny.

I love because even though he lives I don't really want to know how many miles away in a different time zone , and not having seen each other in 14 months… he STILL manages to be the best part of my day. There's so much to say.. it's so hard to sum it all up.

Personality, usually because they make me laugh and look good doing that. I like that.

I loved him because he made me feel like I'm the best and there is no one better than me. He really made me happy. He was this really hot guy who was kinda cute too, and haha, as per my wishlist he could dance and sing as well.

I believed there was nothing such a love and it was all really just a fantasy, but when he wasn't around, I could feel the empty space. I loved him because even though we were completely different and had different opinions on almost everything possible, he respected that and we chose together to agree to disagree. Everything just seemed easier with him around. Maybe that's why. It made everything simpler.

I love him because the first time I laid eyes on him I felt alive. I love him because we fight like cats and dogs only to realize we cant live without each other. I love him because all I need to do is lie down on his chest and I doze off. I love him because I know that the room maybe full of these hot babes but he sees only me. I love him because he makes me want to do better, be better, heck, he even makes me want to do the laundry sometimes … haha !! (Married young and crazy and happy)

Just the little things he does… and how I'm the only one he talks to and shows his feelings to.

Eventhough I was in a relationship with someone else, when I met him first, it felt like he had stolen my soul !!

I love him because after my dad *RIP* he is the only one who has really understood me and has stood by me.

I was 17, when I fell in love and got committed to him and I loved being devoted to him...my happiness depended on his happiness...with time, with age...the reasons kept changing and I fell out of love but the committment kept me going. Right now, I'm not sure why I fell in love with him, but eventually it just wasn't love anymore but I think I loved him because he was devoted to me and I to him - he was a witness and a partner to me, in my everyday life.

Actually, I thought about it and I think I'm selfish because I like somebody based on the context of his/her behavior towards me, but there is this one person I totally adore because he is hardworking, focussed and ambitious AND he is also one of the sweetest, kindest souls that I have met. Very considerate fellow. But then again, none of this is THAT kind of love.

All I can think of is that song by John Lennon -
"Love" Love is real, real is love,
Love is feeling, feeling love,
Love is wanting to be loved.
Love is touch, touch is love,
Love is reaching, reaching love,
Love is asking to be loved.
Love is you,
You and me,
Love is knowing,
We can be.
Love is free, free is love,
Love is living, living love,
Love is needing to be loved."

I really, really can't define this... Love..just IS ! without any reasons. What I mean to say is that I don't know why I'm in love him.. I just am.. with everything about him or for that matter nothing about him...So you know, even though I can write a 1000 poems, I still can't ever find the right words to define it. It's just one of those things...

Well, I love my friends and that's because they understand me and my needs. They are always there through thick and thin and they have always known how to make me happy. :) That's it !

I don't need a reason, I've never looked for one. I just love him. I love that he accepts me the way I am, all my quirks included. I love how he makes me feel like the luckiest girl ever. Like I am where I'm meant to be, even when I feel my worst. I love the intimacy, the support, the conversation. Just the thought that he's there for me undoes the effect of all the shit that's come my way, and I'm so thankful for his presence. He means so much, but the rest is just for me to know :D

I loved him, why..well , because of the way he made me feel, which is .. special and as any teenager wanting that attention, I got that from him and a sense of absolute comfort in sharing. Little innocence.

He is my husband because I love him. It is a feeling of trust and friendship and most of all he accepted all of me even my flaws without trying to change me because he respects my individuality. (Married)

Well...I love him because the very minute I got to know him, he made it very easy for me to laugh and be myself. There were no walls between or around us.. and we so readily let each other in, anyway... and thats when you know.. WE CLICKED !

Why am I in love? Let me think, he makes me laugh so much, we always have so much fun together, we have so much in common and we're great friends and most of all the trust between us !

For so many reasons !!! He brings out the best in me, makes me smile..A LOT. Gives the best advice, because he knows me best and he's hot !! haha, We've been together since forever, and even though right now we're not together..I know that it's still going to go on forever.

** I loved listening to all 87 of you.There is young love, old love, broken love, tough love and just about all kinds of love here, asking these questions did lead to quite a lot of nostalgia for a lot of people, heck it even got one couple who had broken up for good, back together. Just one question, why do you love him/her? **

Eve has bitten the Apple.

2010-02-02T08:54:00.000-08:00

Doodle in Advertising Class @ my Visual Communication course.
(Gel Pens and Felt pens on Notebook paper)

So why so late.

2010-02-02T01:08:00.000-08:00

Because. Life happened.

One phone conversation happened over one element of my photography.
One job happened.
Multi-functionality happened.
Events, writing, Photography, networking., designing, social work, online marketing.
More projects happened.
Dope, Kickstart Coimbatore, Coimbatore College of Contemporary Arts, Coimbatore Music Forum, Echoes of the Throne, Red Cross, Atmos.

Love got better. So did Home. Life after following your dreams is so peaceful. I haven't known this in.. so.. many.. years..

Thank you for all the opportunities. Thank you for standing by me and standing up for me. Thank you for letting me follow my dreams. Thank you for love. Thank you for friendship. Thank you for faith. Thank you for letting go. Thank you for colors. Thank you for luck and destiny and fate. Most importantly for being there while I discovered me and letting me be.

All of you's - you all know who you are.

I'm going to be updating soon enough. Let me get me organized :) it's been mad lately. How surprising ;) NOT !! :D

Battle of the Bands

2010-01-29T22:40:00.000-08:00

The first of its kind, big ass Band Competition in Coimbatore, saw a number of bands from our own city, Kerala, Chennai and Bangalore and etc., participating. I got the official photographer gig, so here are some of the photos and the links to each band's photos.
Setting up
Evergreen ( Headliners )
Echoes of the Throne
T W K C
Winter Rose
The Blacksmiths
Death Prayer
Hallows
timiraaH
Resonance
The Band

ELS presents : Mind your Language - (Event Photography)

2010-01-26T20:58:00.000-08:00

The English Literary Society, presented a short, super hilarious play based on the old British TV series of the English as a Foreign language class. I was the official photographer :) T'was fun
Facebook Album Link

Photoshoot for Dope's Red Cross PSA

2010-01-21T21:53:00.000-08:00

I was part of a team, that made a very simple PSA for Red Cross Society, Coimbatore's mega fundraiser on its Platinum Jubilee. Over 17,000 people attended the show, which saw the likes of Sivamani, Actor Surya, Mirchi Suchi, Kala Master etc., performing. Our Photo montage.. played first :)

Very DIY, very on the spot, plus only a few days time given to shoot,edit, post.. add the dysfunctional camera that required special attentions from kaka :D

I helped set up the scene for the Photos, and did the photo editing, also gave inputs on the Post-processing.

Credits to Kaarthic Senthil who shot and did post processing and the friends who modelled from PSG CAS.

Facebook Album Link , Video Link

Eve in the Forest

2010-01-17T20:54:00.000-08:00

Illustration on Adobe Photoshop CS3

Castle-Comic

2010-01-17T20:52:00.000-08:00

Illustration on Adobe Photoshop CS3

Drip-Drop

2010-01-17T20:50:00.000-08:00

Adobe Photoshop CS3

Blood is Thicker Than Water

2010-01-17T20:45:00.000-08:00

Adobe Photoshop CS3

Confused Hippie Minimalism

2010-01-17T20:44:00.000-08:00

Photoshop CS3 - Experimentation

OFF the Street - Event Photography.

2009-12-30T01:18:00.000-08:00

So I set up this in-house, open-floor jam session for Dope the Brand... only online marketing and word of mouth and in my little dahlin' ol' city, it brought in a moving crowd of over 100 people with about 15 amazing musicians performing for the crowds. Not bad for my first ever official event :D I'm just glad the people who performed and watched them, loved it :) Woo~

Read more on the "Are you Dope enough " Post on the same. And check out the Facebook Album for the photos that I took.

DISTORTION - Metal show

2009-12-27T21:26:00.000-08:00

Photography done at Distortion for the band Enemies Within, with bad lighting and stage set up but good music nonetheless.
Facebook album Link

Rose Swirl

2009-12-21T20:40:00.000-08:00

More Photoshop Fun

Abstractless

2009-12-20T20:47:00.000-08:00

Adobe Photoshop CS3

Butterfly Vortex

2009-12-20T20:36:00.000-08:00

So guess who discovered the pleasures of playing around with Photoshop :)

A Book for Freedom

2009-11-20T19:41:00.000-08:00

Love. Hope. Peace & Dreams
( Marker Pens, Special Pens, Magazine cut-outs, Old Diary )

Patterna

2009-11-15T05:31:00.000-08:00

Aquarelle Pencils on Sketch Paper.

I made a mad box ~

2009-11-08T18:54:00.000-08:00

So, my mum tired of seeing my mess of colors and pencils and paints and paper and sheets and gunk in the what in her opinion should be an impeccable family study, gave me this box, that was given as a case for some bed linen set.

Well.. I took it, put all my stuff in.. the box was comfy inside but looked weird and fugly outside.

And...then.. I gave it a makeover . Haha! coupla ol' magazines - Record and Ananda Vikatan to be exact and a French newspaper and gum and glue and sequins and a days work later. It looked like this. What do you think. Its no normal box no more :D

P.S : People are ordering in for me to make them custom boxes like these. woohoo. Collages are fun !

For more photos -Top of the box -
1. middle . 2. far left . 3. far right ; 4. Front,Side and back

A Broken Melody.

2009-11-05T02:02:00.000-08:00

As usual, first the art happened, then the words inspired from it...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the beginning, he played it hard and soft,
That cracked record she held deep in her heart,
And she would spin for him, spin and spin,
To all the words he chose for his favorite song.

Everyday it was the same.
*tick-tock, said the clock*
5 o'clock and he'd come rushing in,
He would play the music and she'd spin again,
Only the tune would change or the names.
Lesser, harder, more words for worse.

The record started cracking, cracking and breaking,
She sadly picked up the pieces, still spinning and spinning.
Maybe, she thought she could change the music then, for them,
If she spun harder, lesser, more words for worse.
He still played it furiously each day; for him, to her-
Till she was sorry, so sorry and the record was nearly gone.

But she still put together the pieces and spun some more
*more love, some hope*
The record still played- broken melodies; yet his words were worse.
*so hard,so cold*

- Verbal domestic abuse, is an evil, that needs to be recognized and stopped.... NO ONE should live in fear of the person they love. If only one could see the damage that one's words can do -

in.sanity

2009-11-04T01:17:00.000-08:00

rough doodle. in.sane.it.looks.

Words.

2009-11-01T23:18:00.000-08:00

...All around me.
Mine. Half - that I hadn't stood by.
Some muffled with tears and apologies.
And the rest held back down into the darkness.
(you know... that very same black hole, with black words and black paint?)

My father's bearing down -
Sadly. IMPERIOUSLY.
( NO..no...FROM NOW ON ITS LIVING BY MY RULES OR YOU CAN LEAVE)

My mother's, her loving salt to my sorry wounds.
Hurtful. Painful. Angering.
( how could you. HOW COULD YOOOUU !?!? all that we did for you)

My grandmother's tolerant idealism.
( it's ok..it's ok.. buck up child, or get married )
My grandfather's silent ones.
(...)
My sister's indifferent adolescence.
( So..! guess what happened in school today )
My friends' worried encouragements.
( it's ok love, you can do this. are you ok ? )

Now yours join theirs.
All of that and more from you.
Words all around me.
~~( taunting, weeping, loving, hurting )~~

Words.
that.
have.
the.
power of hope.
but.
show.
the.
pain of love.

- Hi, I quit law school to chase an uncertain dream -
- do YOU wanna say something too? -

Maybe this IS a little too personal , for a public blog. But it's sorta of the backdrop for all this creativity. So I'd rather have it here.

I. Could. Never. Please. You.

2009-10-31T01:55:00.000-07:00

I want to write about this, but I haven't yet.
but this came about... definitely murky brain material. ho hum.

* day and night .. all the world is a stage *

It was an experiment in perfecting the blue, which obviously the camera didn't quite well capture :(
Oh..well.. I love stick figures.

And the discovery of a workable medium.

2009-10-30T01:20:00.000-07:00

So, I gave up on watercolors.
but soft pastels and fingers, work much better. A tad messy, but hey, I can handle it.
Made in 10 minutes that too !! I'm pleasantly surprised myself :D

DELUSION ANGEL
daydream delusion

limousine eyelash

oh baby with your pretty face

drop a tear in my wineglass.

look at those big eyes on your face

see what you mean to me

sweat cakes and milk shakes

I'm a delusion angel

I'm a fantasy parade

I want you to know what I think

don't want you to guess anymore

you have no idea where I came from

we have no idea where we're going

lodged in life like branches in a river

flowing downstream

caught in the current

I'll carry you you carry me

that's how it could be

don't you know me

don't you know me by now.

- David Jewell for the movie "Before Sunrise"

David Jewell, awesome awesome person that he is, said he'd like it for a book cover. Yay ME. :)
He was the start of all the good things happening in my life.
Follow your heart. Follow your dreams.
It might be hard. But eeess gooood :)

Giving up on watercolor.

2009-10-29T01:15:00.000-07:00

Indian Madonna, much ??
Have no clue where this weird thing came up from in my murky brain.
Something's not right about it , no ?
Contemporary art, interpretation of which is..just..so..very..personal.

love.vintage.death

2009-10-21T06:06:00.000-07:00

I don't really know where this came from or how , so if anybody would like to interpret, it would be nice.
But yes, first the painting happened ( my 1st ever attempt at watercolor, so meh~) and then the writing.

Broken black records that still play
our favorite songs in twisted old melodies,
All my 70's clothes and all your blessed spirits,
Woo-ed by the smoke around us.

beep

The pink circles we spun-
round and round. within.without.

beep

Blue days on beaches,
Sunshine on old boats.

beep

The whispered whiff of your mother's coffee.

beep

The crack that sounded that first heartbreak.

beep
beep

Your favorite western on your father's old TV,
with my favorite popcorn. All jumbled together.
On that funny purple armchair,
that Grandma Rose left us.

beep ...... beep

From there we reigned,
The king of illiterature, and,
the queen of clowns.

beep

With kisses and laughter, and,
tears and hugs.
Some cuss words,
and those famous fights.
- oh how you laughed at me -

beep ...... beep....... beep

All of this beep
In my trembling heart beep
In your silent eyes beep
My fingers in your hair beep

All of this ..b~~eeeeeeeeeeeP..~~
Our kaleidoscope dreams ~~B EE P~~
Made on lazy afternoon car drives ..b~~eeeeeeeeP..~~
The things I said, the things you did ~~B EE P~~

All of this. ~~* BeeeP *~~
I see. I saw. ~~b e e eeeee e e p~~
As you walk away from me ~~b e e eeeee e e p~~
I feel. I hold. ~~* BeeeP *~~

~~*Be e ee e ee e ee e ee e ee e ee e ee e ee e P*~~

Within me.
...........

*B e e e e e

...................
m'am you have to leave the room right now.....
...........

e e e e e P*

......................

Without you.
............

*B e e e e e

............

someone get her out of here, we're losing him....

............

e e e e e e P*
..................

__________________________________________________________

( I'm sorry m'am, I'm afraid we've lost him )

- let go -

W.R.I.T.E.R.'S BLOCK

2009-10-20T23:11:00.000-07:00

... is an excuse,
I made -
For the creativity;
That they tried
to kill.
That I allowed,
to be shackled.
Held back.
Suppressed.
Inside that black hole,
of black words
and the blackest paint.

Inside of me.

Unnecessary emotion.
Necessary evil.

n.o.t a.n.y.m.o.r.e
NO.

* Weeel...I is bach to teh writings...i mean, trying to write *

-A thousand Huzzahs to free expression and mad impulses and creativity gone wild -

The Take10! Campaign

2009-10-20T20:20:00.000-07:00

Official figures report that in Jan-Oct 2007, 18,039 people in the city were tested for HIV at government testing centres. Of these, 12.27%tested positive. These figures exclude the thousands of people already living with HIV in Pune, along with those who are as yet unaware of their HIV+ status.

Launched in November 2006, Wake Up Pune is a coalition of NGOs corporate companies, local businesses and interested individuals. We also have a number of local supporters including Extentia, Cerillion , INOX, E-Square etc. The coalition works towards spreading awareness about HIV and AIDS in the city of Pune,

India

Why young people?

Traditionally HIV AIDS awareness has been centred on ‘high risk groups’ amongst the lower socio-economic groups e.g. truck drivers, commercial sex workers and the uneducated.

However, with over 33% of all new HIV infections occurring in the age-group 15-29, Wake Up Pune understands and acknowledges the need for youth-centred HIV awareness to address vulnerability among young people arising from lack of accurate information and low risk perception.

We have in the past conducted awareness workshops at several educational institutes such as St. Vincent’s School, BMCC college, ILS, Wadia’s. We also successfully ran HIV & AIDS Awareness events at several inter-college fests last year including one at Pune University MBA department and at Bhartiyam 2009 at Bhartiya Vidya Peeth, Katraj.

What is Take10!

The Take10! Campaign is a new youth initiative launched by Wake Up Pune Coalition this July with support from Staying Alive Foundation, MTV Global Networks. It is a completely youth-led campaign that gives young people 10 simple ways to join the fight against HIV in Pune city. The campaign provides a space to learn about HIV in Pune and other related issues particularly of the stigma and discrimination faced by people living with HIV in the city. But the campaign doesn't stop there. It furthers the awareness and learning by turning it into opportunity for action through small projects on awareness through creative media such as Film, Theater, Creative Writing, Cricket, Photography etc.

The future is too important to be lost under the burden of unnecessary ignorance, denial and discrimination that don't help the situation at all. We must face this together and be the change we want to see!!
Learn about HIV! . Get Tested! . Break the silence! . Write ! . Get Artistic! . Click A Pic! . Shoot A Film! . Play Cricket! . Theatre! . Support Positive Living! . Fight Stigma and Discrimination! .

- Being HIV POSITIVE means, being positive about awareness, education and support of people living with HIV -

I worked with the brilliant team as Assistant Campaign Co-ordinator as well as running Awareness bootcamps, Sex and Sexuality discussions, Field and Outreach Visits, Kiosks, plus heading the Art and Photography projects as well as Online, Social Media and Creative components.

I learnt a lot and it was a great experience being part of such a movement.

Reality is very good earthing in today's world.

PHOTOS : Training Session, Meet the Team!, The Launch @ Altersonic, Coffee night @German Bakery, The 1st Bootcamp, Postcards, SIMC Bootcamp, Film-Making Workshop, Workshop Snippets,

Kiosk @ Inox

MUSIC VIDEO

Facebook Page

The Gothic-Hippie.

2009-10-18T01:02:00.000-07:00

what. WHAT ? er... wooot.

it's my self-fashioned weird ass stereotype to bust all stereotypes.
and this in my dark,black blog, is a hippie doodle that i drew.

for all the psychedelia and bohemia in our lives and its happy lovers

Wire Phunk

2009-06-21T19:49:00.000-07:00

Nikon S560 + Picasa Edit, from during the Colossal Night gig shoot.

The Colossal Night

2009-06-12T20:22:00.000-07:00

The Colossal Night , was the first of it's kind Summer Concert, held by young musicians at Coimbatore. It was also the first time I photographed musicians, although I really, had no clue , with my borrowed Point n' shoot, and limiting myself to just shooting from in front of the stage and not much experience photographing, in the first place. Then I used Picasa... and well here are some of the photos.

I also made, using Picasa itself, an online Poster for them, lets go ahead and call it my first design work :)

Facebook Album Link

The Peace Sign on my Ceiling

2009-05-23T19:42:00.000-07:00

Picasa Edit. Ha.

Someone said..

2009-05-01T23:02:00.000-07:00

Physical, emotional and financial freedom mean the world to me... they give me the power to live by my convictions, be fearless in my vision, cross set boundaries, shout from the rooftops for the causes I support, be a voice for those who are afraid to speak, dance to gay abandon with people I love, travel to the extremities of the Earth, cry without being weak, and most importantly give without asking...

Freedom, is living without living a lie..!

*my new tattoo*

The Bassist.

2009-03-10T00:57:00.000-07:00

This was a little more carefully drawn..ink resources were limited though..
drawn for an amazing person...
dedicated to all leftie guitarists, and, bassists in general :D

bahaha !!

The Bassist

You’re the weirdest member of the machine
keeping that beat like no one’s ever seen.
The tinny teen idols sound like steel flies,
in the wake of your “ohm”- like lullabies.

I know it seems like no one knows you’re there
But if you weren’t, on this vow I swear:
The other band members wouldn’t belong
because you’re the one who holds up the song.

That back beat is never in the background.
Low-key but never ignoring the sound
of the pitch in perpetual pattern.
Woofers shed light on your four-string lantern

*got the poem off the net somewhere, not mine*

Girl-power !!!

2009-01-19T01:10:00.000-08:00

Ah such experimental randomness :D

My Eyes Have Seen You.

2009-01-17T09:25:00.000-08:00

Felt-Pen and Soft Pastel on Sketch Paper.

Faces.

2009-01-15T23:50:00.000-08:00

* I bought a sketch book *

Let's tear away the faces we hide behind,
We're no longer in disguise.

Different faces everywhere.
You were changing.

Do you see those faces?
What do they tell you?

Different faces everywhere.
Changing right before my eyes.

And then, a million faces pass my way.

The Mulshi Massacre

2009-01-04T23:21:00.000-08:00

My first attempts at music photography, with a simple point and shoot and post editing on picasa, and barging in on a friend's jam session :D All credits to Aniket Patni and Vedant Shetty for letting me barge in and finding my photography love :

Pessimism

2008-10-04T15:41:00.000-07:00

Driving back from gym, thinking about the morning paper for some random reason, a thought struck my head. Quite surprising, considering I've always been the eternal optimist, smile-even-if-i'm-stuck-in-the-deepest-shit..so-glad-i'm-so-alive person..but oh well, here's another rant.

It's been a long time since the beginning of the world that human life has been so easily disposable, like it is now...Yes we've had ethnic cleansing before and diseases and wars but now we have terrorism and more wars and newer ways to kill hundreds of people going about their daily lives.blah blah.

Human life has never been so irrelevantly disposable.What is this making way for..another evolution?? Where the battle-worn survivor evolves into what?? even more ruthless corrupt men?? Is that the homo superieur of the world to come?? and... the good will die, for they wont live through the survival of the fittest???
The meek shall inherit the earth...haha!!
CHRIST!! you must have been joking.

I never thot I'd be so pessimistic about saving the world and its people, heck I even had the ambition and dream to be a fine UN diplomat changing world policies to benefit the er.. meek. But well, human life has become so disposable that I think I'm might just have to join the pessimistic bandwagon... What can't be fixed, needn't be repaired. I'm losing my faith in humanity.
You know what.... maybe that IS the key to survival in the world right now.

I don't know. I don't want a 9-5 job, I don't want to be a lawyer, I don't want to work my ass off for anything already deemed worthless, I don't want to fight a losing fight. I want to live my life to the most, smile and laugh and love and be loved, make people who matter happy and sing and dance and create and write...and whatnot.

Maybe I'm not entirely convinced about fucking the world...
but hey...
LET's GET HIGH.

Home

2008-09-30T17:31:00.000-07:00

Home.
From the umpteen number of times I've packed and moved, sometimes bundling up friendships and relationships and memories..mostly just clothes and junk and at othertimes, expectations and dreams and even hopes both bright and awry.... I have but one, nay two entries in my journal, both at different points of time, one when I left the City of my education, unfinished..full of hopes and friends whom I considered closer than family and another a year later, when I was leaving the city of my birth when all those previous opinions had been dashed..with a new quiet strength replacing it.. And this is what I'd written...

Interpretations of people and situations change, they bloody as well change for people do change, relationships change and even whole cities change.
Pune is the place I've been calling home now..My grandest love for a City where I continue to have the best memories and the worst screw-ups.. It's still home but what of the one I left behind 2 years ago..so desperately wanting to run away??

By now,as much as I had said that it was never a house or a building that makes a home, but the people in it; I've realized that it's not the people either.
Home is still wherever you go, wherever you choose to lay your head in peace, that place you go to at the end of a day - any day.

But what home really is lies in the sense of belonging and contentment one gets from being in any particular place. Therefore, home is not defined by the person or the place or the situations but the feeling. The feeling of belonging.

This special feeling is so important that it explains why some people still love any weird, hurtful place that brings so much pain, or has people that treat them more like furniture than a human being. It is that sense of belonging, a strong bond maybe even a feeling of kinship with that particular place, of being one with it not just because of growing up there at various times or happy memories but even because of going through painful experiences... It doesn't matter, what happened inside that place you call home, it will be home to you... and it will still feel like home every time you return. Especially the ones that always keep the door open to receive you back despite anything,nothing and everything.

My favorite Metallica song goes..

"Off the beaten path I reign
Rover wanderer
Nomad vagabond
Call me what you will

But Ill take my time anywhere
Im free to speak my mind anywhere
And Ill never mind anywhere
Anywhere I may roam
Where I lay my head is home"

Home is merely the feeling. And I'm so glad I have many such places.

***
my parent's home, city of my birth.
my maternal grandparent's home, city of my birth.
my paternal gramp's house and the temple, place of my childhood.
the 3 farms, here and there.
my apartment, Pune.
The neighborhood Barista, Pune.
my bestesht friend's home,Pune.
The sexy flat, Chennai.
Factory guesthouse, some village.
the solitary beach, anywhere.
and almost just there...my boyfriend's home.
but most definitely, his arms ;)
***

winner/loser

2008-09-23T16:04:00.000-07:00

They spend all their time telling you that you're nothing, that you're a loser; so much that you go ahead and believe everything that they say you are... so bad that you expect yourself to fail, you expect yourself to screw up. Just like they told you, you would. If those meant to believe in you, the ones meant to support, hold you up and believe in you blindly and unconditionally are the ones who destroy you, then the only thing you can do is to forgive them, move on and look into yourself for the extraordinary faith that only you can have in yourself, for yourself. Never give them that authority to define who you are.

They are the losers. NOT YOU. Accepting what they said gives them way too much power over you - power that they don't deserve because no one can make you feel like shit about yourself. NO ONE HAS THAT POWER. That is true strength of character.
That is what makes you a better person, better than that guy who has to make someone else feel worse to feel good about himself. There should be no need to look down on anyone or judge them. Like the wise have said, if you so choose to judge others then judge them as you'd like yourself to be judged. Everyone to themselves, right or wrong, for we are no one to judge anyone except ourselves.

What makes one a great person is when there is no need for any righteous hypocritical bullshit from anyone. All you'd need is an unshakable faith in yourself and the strength to defend that faith no matter what, or who.. with head high and heart sure.

*Hmhmm. Where this post originated in that murky brain of mine, I don't know. Maybe it was just the movie I watched this afternoon. Maybe it just rang true, somewhere.. one of those lessons learnt the hard way, one that I need to keep reminding myself of*

Dreaming out aloud

2008-09-16T15:16:00.000-07:00

I keep thinking about you, but you already know that. One of my
weaknesses – any real emotion, and all notions of secrecy disappear. I
literally see myself picking up the phone and dialing your number, I
can see your finger pressing the 'answer' button and I can hear myself
say, "Hey you !!!" and you for once saying..." heyyyy
maaaa or heyy baabe" subconsciously... It isn't in my control.

But I have been thinking about you. You know, I told you that I loved
you, so long ago... yeah, I did, apparently and I still do every night
whatever happens...Must seem like a long time ago when we both said
it,meant it with every bit of our being... lol... But I did say it. I
did mean it too, in some silly, infatuated, head-rush-inducing manner,
I love you. A year ago.

I still do.

Only it is a different love now; calmer, more implicit, less rushed,
stronger. But also, it is a love less inclined towards entertaining
hormonal urges or temper tantrums or frequent hanging-up
sequences...Yeah, I don't get pissed..sad and numbed over maybe. I
suppose that makes it completely useless to you. When I can call you
and crib about something that hurt me or.... try and ask you questions
so we can have one of those famous all night convos debating world
issues or the purpose of life as we know it... When you can call me
(theoretically) and talk about the same old same old with the same old
same old. When I can imagine doing exactly this, ten years from now,
when you and I will be famous and bitter (more than we are now, babe,
more). I think we'll both die of an overdose of cynicism. Won't that
be perfect? That didn't make sense. haha. We'd be happily married
officially I suppose... I hope so. A kid in tow.. lol.. our dreams?

Sometimes, I can't think of a place, a thing, a city, without thinking
of you. Of us on the sidewalk. Of us smoking cigarettes, looking cool
because we didn't want to look cool, of us laughing at morons, of us
drinking and singing and drinking and laughing and drinking and making
love and long drives going everywhere and no where and fumbling for money. It was a good time, wasn't it? I was happy. And sometimes, that sense of you holding me
with an arm over me engulfs me, and I almost stop doing whatever I'm
doing and I almost stop breathing.

Take me back to that one month when we couldn't wait for life to
begin? And when we could always turn to " I don't want to miss a
thing" for some therapy. Take me back. I don't think I grabbed enough
memories from then. And every day I forget something else, and I frown
in despair, trying to remember what it was that you had said that made
me giggle so. Jog my memory. Write it down. Whisper it into my
fingers. Something. But if you can't, I understand.
In the meantime, I'll keep calling hoping you'll say "Hey babe..I
missed you so much"

Life/Death

2008-08-09T15:04:00.000-07:00

He sat. He got up. He paced. He tried to drink the coffee offered to him, but his hands shook too much. Earlier that day, just as he'd sat down to work, thinking of his beautiful wife .. and... their..
*tring...................trinnnnngggg* He was shaken out of his reverie, one look at the number and his heart nearly stopped, he knew before they told him. " Sir, it's your wife" He ran out of his office, raced to the hospital and that's when the longest day of his life began.

He paced some more, shooting worried, questioning glances at the nurses hurrying past him. He almost considered breaking into the ICU just for one look.. for someone, anyone to tell him that she would be ok. Visions clouded his mind, of her smiling at him, of all the times they sat outside on the verandah, talking and making plans for their grand life which had yet begun.

Which should have begun by now, their first dream to come true.. but it had been 4 hours already. He imagined her screaming for him. Suddenly, he heard someone else whimpering. A little girl's voice, not yet a woman... he heard her scream and then quieten down. Sickened to the core, he went to the window for some fresh air.

He wondered to whom that little voice belonged to and for a silent minute he hoped she was well too. The doctor came out and told him that He was sorry it was taking so long but there had been some slight complications, nothing that could not be dealt with. He asked him to sit down and wait and with agitated furious eyes that questioned so much but got no answers he sat down, quietly.

Soon, he heard the squeak of a bed being pushed around and worriedly looked up but then he saw who that plaintive voice belonged to. She was merely a girl. And she looked deathly pale and half dead while they wheeled her into the small recovery room. She had no one waiting for her, no one standing by her, and his heart went out to her. He prayed fervently that his own wife would come out safe.

Another half-hour passed and his thoughts were sad and violent, he hated himself for bringing this upon her, but she had also wanted the same dream he'd wanted.. she had wanted and dreamt of it even more than he could possibly have, Oh how he wished they'd never dreamt of it together, how he wished that he could only hold her again, safe in his arms. To see her smile again...

He heard it. No.. he thought.. he'd probably imagined it in his own delirium. He looked up and saw that girl, looking slightly more alive.. smile at him, a small encouraging brave smile. He heard it again... his dream.. alive... now..

The doctor rushed out with a little pink bundle in his arms, he cried at the sight of her, so happy, so full of love for that tiny little pink bundle, with the tiny little arms and that little mop of curly brown hair and those beautiful little eyes blinking at the new light and life all around her. The doctor put her in his arms. The nurses all said that she looked like him, while he knew secretly that she looked every bit like his wife. He looked at her and looked at her and loved her so much.. with all his heart and he knew this was a love that would go on forever.

He turned to see the girl looking at him with glassy eyes. She gave him a weak smile and said "Your daughter.... she looks beautiful." He beamed at her and said "Yes, she does" and then looking at her lying so weak, he panicked.. Where was his wife? Where is she?? He asked the girl to hold the baby next to her, placed her carefully in between the wires and went to find the doctor.

The girl looked at the baby for a few seconds and pulled it close to her with tears in her eyes, she stroked the perfect pink lips, the perfect smooth skin, felt the perfect brown curls and the pain tugged at her heart like nothing ever else could. When the baby caught her finger and held it , she thought she would almost die of heartache.

More loud voices and a set of squeaky wheels following in, the man was sobbing, his wife.. his precious wife was so weak, nearly dying. They hooked her to a heart monitor and left the man pacing, staring at his wife with the eyes of an animal cornered in a cage.. a man cornered by fate. He looked over and saw the girl holding his daughter so close, with a powerful pain shielded with a love on her face .. a love only another mother could have for someone else's baby and then it hit him. He knew why she was there as his eyes traced the tubes from her hands leading up to transfusions of blood and glucose.

The machine which was to spell his wife's fate , beeped and blinked intermittently in the background, as he saw his beautiful wife lying so calm, so quiet, nearly dying yet glowing after giving birth and he saw the deathly-pale girl struggling with pain and love yet holding his baby close even though she'd willingly given hers up... he realized there was only so much of a space between life and death. And yes, they could both be in the same hospital room, both showing their faces in that mysterious balance called fate.

Lost.little.girl.

2008-05-20T19:00:00.001-07:00

There's a lot of darkness in my writing these days, things I see happening all around me.. in music, in books, in movies.. with my friends.. here's one more...

Lost and disillusioned..
but i still have you
Still on the search towards that peace
Will you set me free
from these vicious circles in that brilliant dark place
I call home to
All those memories and moments
That define me
That define the dreams
Now lost...
*my mind****

Will you shine for me??
Brighter than the darkness
That defines my very breath these days??
Will you walk beside me....??
As I take this desolate march
into the valley of my dying dreams....
Will you..
Won't you...

i love you.... <3

dadda~

2008-05-20T19:00:00.000-07:00

Didn't you see death in my eyes
The shadows in my silence
The echoes of quiet despair in my words
I thought you were wise

Didn't you see it
You had me on your lap
Stories and jokes and songs..
Did my twinkling eyes and happy laughter blind you so??
Didn't you see it in me..?
When you built that dream-making machine
In that deserted place
The same one I have to tend on my own now..
With your hopes and my dreams sown in them..
Rotting oh so well...

Where's your lil' girl...??
Is she safe??
What's become an empty heart and a life of lies?
Do you have the answers?
That break her heart more than yours?

I'll still walk with you daddy...
by your side if you'll let me, still...
Your living dead daughter...
Hold my hand, Daddy...
Don't ever let go...

LOST AND FOUND

2007-12-15T01:32:00.000-08:00

LOST AND FOUND

Not all those who wander are lost;

- Those that stray the paths well-taken

Have done for a reason - to gain the most

Why then are they often mistaken?

Through the journey, many times, led astray

Following those who were equally blind

They learnt all of life's lessons the hard way

Walking all those roads that twist and wind.

The thorns might stab and prick,

And the wounds will bleed and heal,

Falling under many a treat and trick -

Everytime it hurts, they know that their hearts can still feel.

Out at sea, was when they knew -

That the waters lie both shallow...deep...

And calm and beautiful blue

Even as the storms above rant and weep.

Soon the darkness will clear,

And the struggle of the years will become worth it all.

The fears, tears and weary memories will disappear

They will walk on, grimly smiling, unafraid to fall...

BECAUSE NOT ALL THOSE WHO WANDER ARE LOST.....!

REQUIEM...?

2007-12-13T01:33:00.000-08:00

It flows through his veins,

The one thing that numbs it all

The memories, unforgettable moments,the smiles through the pains..

All untold, withheld; in each and every fall

Through each steep, drowsy step, so slow

Around the dark corners of his mind

Round and round the thoughts flow

The memories once locked away - now unwind.

The eternal darkness eats away the mortal sunshine

And the beauty slowly turns insane.

The Judges, jury and the Holy Ghost all stand in line

To roll the dice - his loss or gain.

His steps, slowly moving, trudging, falling

Letting the bittersweetness flow through his body still alive,

Slipping, awakening, the despair numbing -

Closer to killing his will to survive

The will to stop! to strive!

The unwilling stupor blinds him in a cloud..

The will to fight! to live!

His silent screams echo through, aloud.

His flailing hands get a hold

He sees the light, shining so bright

And the angels of whom, when young he was told

Lift him up - heart and soul, putting him right.

He knew what he was really made of now..

He knew his wasn't the darkness but the light so clear

He knew he'd only reap what he'd sow

And so he walked now, head held high, without fear...

ANOTHER DAY ACROSS THE MILES

2007-08-23T01:30:00.000-07:00

As days go by
I come to know
Time will fly
But I still have miles to go

People come; Might stay
Friends laugh; Can leave
It's just another day
No time to grieve

It's just another day
But I still have miles to go.

xkcd - inspired

2007-08-19T08:42:00.000-07:00

Love.

( Fountain-Pen Ink and Charcoal Pencil )

Falling Apart.

( Pencil )

I'll Follow you

2007-07-15T01:31:00.000-07:00

Acid green monsters
blood red whores
black tongued bitches
wine eyed rogues
beautiful black butterflies
drinking red blood
Where i See u ,
is too hard to find.

Follow him....
follow love.....
hard and steep....
leave the dark voices
follw him all the way..

(..fkin gibran..)

Acid green monsters,
blood red whores, "when love beckons you, follow him though his ways may be hard and steep" -Kahlil Gibran
black tongued bitches
wine eyed rogues
beautiful black butterflies
drinking red blood
(...mmMmmmm...)

Ink filled eyes of ice
Staring at hearts full of crack
Fluorescent pot clouds
Filling all their muddy skulls
Stormy grey suns
breeding stinky dying flowers
(..on MaAA graVE...)

Love, where are you///
show ur bloody way...
(...fkin gibran..)

Hard and steep
Walking, hurting...
cracking...falling
love.... show me ur waaay
(where the fuck are you/....)

where i see you is too hard to find...
but i'll follow you...

Dark Dark whispers,
rumble thro murky white brains
But love... i'll follow you

Acid green monsters,
blood red whores
black tongued bitches
wine eyed rogues
beautiful black butterflies
drinking red blood

I'll fkin follow u
(acid green monsters)
(blood red whores)
LOVe ...i'll follow u...
(black tongued bitches)
(wine eyed rogues)
Though your ways are hard and steep...
(beautiful black butterflies)
(drinking red blood)
I'll follow you.

When love beckons to you, follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. - Kahlil Gibran

The eternal Darkness of the insane mind ~

2007-06-06T02:40:00.000-07:00

Restless, Restricted, Empty ...

I want to fly, soar. I also want to tear my aching body and my bruised heart apart. I want to set my mind free. I want to run and take-off. How I hate unrequited efforts and emotions. I'm displeased - not content.

I stand at a cliff. On the edge. Not looking down into the endless abyss but at another massive cliff in the yonder past a magnificent ocean reflecting the stormy gray of the dark clouds over it. I stand amidst my thorns desiring the colours of life held yonder.

I want to take the leap...something unknown is holding me back. Holding me rooted. I hear the thunder, feel the rain tearing away my clothes exposing the scars of the years past... and my own sun eats away at my soul... my eyes hollow black holes... my smile thin,twisted,mean... a gaunt face surviving the everyday battles waging inside.

A racous dark voice... JUMP... jump... die again your 1000 deaths...

A tiny haunting voice; leap.. LEAP.... for the half chance of a near normal life...NooOO

Stuck... stuck to the insanity that grounds my soul for life....

My eternal sunshine... save me...make my mind spotless don't eat away my soul.

The most beautiful pain.

2007-03-17T01:30:00.000-07:00

Self-realization hits you and you know its not something new-
When you look into the mirror and see the real you,
Admitting to the horrors,unravelling your mind's maze,
And all the smog clears but you're still in a daze.

When you reach the end,
You'd also know that you cant mend
The mistake that is you-you in vain,
For Self-realization is the greatest pain.

You'd stumble now,struggling to hold on
To the dreams and joys that seem long gone,
Groping here and there you reach a friend's loving hand,
But fear grips you and you fall unto the dreary sand.

But then suddenly your courage is back,
And you dont cut anymore slack.
You move and walk and trudge on somehow
Reaching towards his open arms full of love

He wipes away your pain and your tears,
And calms away those insecure fears.
In his arms you become strong,
And inside,you steadily destroy all the wrong.

Finally with a clear heart and mind,
You look at him with love and you soon find-
Self-realization is the most beautiful pain,
For you find your true self and stand only to gain!

The Receiving End of That.

2006-06-13T02:31:00.000-07:00

Monday morning dawns bright and sunny. She wakes up to the incessant knocking at her door, she looks at her watch, DAMN ! it’s only 6:15, but she’s got to get up now even though she slept only at 3:45.

She goes downstairs and as she descends she hears a “ wOnDerFuL” cry of welcome,

“ AAhAA vanthuta maharani…kizha irangi vanthutaa Rani !” ( Aaa, the Great queen has come, she has come down, the queen!) She sighs, and walks into the spacious dining hall. The golden sunlight shines through the windows reflecting off the resplendent polished silver and sparkling crystal in the cupboards. It was a beautiful day, as beautiful as any other day seemed but never was.

She sees HIM..tousled hair and majestic moustache, regally sitting at the table, his sharp eyes ignoring her and reading the newspaper..she looked at him with a longing deep inside her heart, staring at him , memories of wonderful times spent together flooding and clouding her already throbbing head.

THE KID snaps her out of her reverie shouting at her..” Hey YOU !, you do the outside, I’ll look after the inside”…

The Kid – once sweet, loving, and nice. She still is and will always be..to them but not anymore to her. The Kid much more loved for her obedience, her undemanding ways and her homeliness. But all that or nothing, she was nothing like her, never would be what she was or ever will be. Even then,The Kid was much more loved while she was just tolerated.

She walks outside and gets greeted, a genuine heartfelt greeting from two beings who have no need for any pretensions with her. THE DOGS – softly barking, lovingly jumping and prancing around her…her best friends and she smiles for the first and last time that morning – an unpretentious ,genuine smile…

Sadly, good ain’t good enough to last forever and now not even a minute longer for she saw HER..beautiful yet ugly, kind yet cruel, loving as well as hating.. a contradictory personality who’s good is reserved for The Man and The Kid and the rest as usual..for who else…?!

A jeer..” What are you doing there playing with the dogs, are they going to give you your food? “

** I wish they did, I really wish they did, they’d give it with a better heart than you ever will**

“ Pick up the broom!! “

She picks it up and sweeps away the dirty dry leaves from the vaasal ( front entrance of a house) wishing she could do the same thing with her life. She sweeps it clean and sprinkles water neatly. If only life could be cleansed as easily as this.

Even though it was perfectly done, The Woman couldn’t resist screeching, “ Can’t you even do this simple job efficiently? Take away those piles of leaves!! Look how many spots u have missed! Sprinkle the water all over again..when will you learn, oh god!! What will I do!!”

** screech on woman!! **

“ Bitch!, you don’t even know a single simple kolam! Call The Kid!”

** yeah, yeah..what do I know anyway?? The Kid..Oh yes she knows everything**

She calls The Kid and goes inside the house. The Man sipping his tea, gives her a glance but does not say anything.

The kitchen was at its busiest in the mornings. Everyone was there yet she feels stationary as things around her moved so fast…more taunts, more sneers..

“ Can’t you even scrape a carrot without making a mess of it?”

“ Look at the amount of water u have spilt on the floor, I know you are out to get me..you want me to fall don’t you?”

“ Clean it up you incompetent idiot!!”

Then some peace, sipping her coffee, enveloped in her thoughts…. HE speaks now

“ They haven’t given you coffee to sit here and while away your time! Get back to the kitchen! You bring out the worst in everyone!”

** Et tu….? **

Work and some more work, finally everyone heads upstairs to get ready..she sits in her room unmoving while they bustle around outside. One by one they leave – The Man to make more money and be busy, The Kid to better (butter?!) her brains, but someone hasn’t left yet.

The Woman walks into the room !

“ You uncooperative bitch ! Can’t you get ready like the rest of us? Look at your room! Squalor I say!! Absolute squalor..! how can u live here? Your room is a disgrace to this house and you are a disgrace to the people who live here.. How much more uncooperative can you get? I hope you die a slow death ..can’t you help us out? We are all in a rush , all you do is sit around staring into space…I hope when you die you ache and writhe in pain. Why don’t you just kill yourself ?? You want me to help you? I’ll give you a dose of arsenic, I do know how to kill you without anyone ever suspecting me, do u know that?

I’ll make you want to tear yourself apart in pain…my curses are with you, I hope you fall unto ruin ..you are never going to succeed in anything ..now I know why you’ve failed so many times it’s because of my curses;our curses will always be upon you!!

The sooner you leave this household the better, then atleast we can all live in peace…have u no mouth? Don’t u have anything to say? How will you? I own everything you think you own, even the clothes you wear..hhahahahaa…”

She looks up into The Woman’s eyes so full of fury but somewhere underneath the anger, she detects a milli micron of love from where the fury stemmed.

** I don’t want to speak back, because I am leaving and the fewer words I say, the better,because I’ll leave soon; so don’t worry!!**

The Woman exits screaming and cursing leaving her cruel words hanging in the air, in every nook and corner. Now she goes, she goes to be kind and to provide care to the hundreds who come to her.

The Elders enter the house, bickering as usual even though it was a beautiful and special day for them. She feels at blame for this also as everything had changed once The Elders had left the house. They left because of her…because of her….

Unhappiness and misery are things that man makes for himself but she made it for them, loads and loads of it.

She will leave soon, as promised but a question loomed from inside the darkness of her soul….To leave forever never to return or To just leave and not bother for now ….

She lets the questions fade away into oblivion, into the darkness again .

** I will leave , but I leave to show them who I really am**

With a determined smile, somewhere inside her a lamp had been lit to drive away the darkness of despair….

School Stuff.

2006-01-16T02:29:00.000-08:00

WOmANNNNN

This whole post is about women and their problems and whaevvaaa.. we did a skit in school on this and bagged the best assembly prize for it this year.. so heres the script which I had prepared for that skit … it had great music too from safri duo RISE.. used goldwave to make a great mix … we were a hit..

India has been enjoying freedom for the past 58 yrs but Indian women have slowly attained it only in the last few years and though the struggle against the constraints of poverty, religion and society, is not yet over, women are being awarded gradually with more equal rights.
So, here we are, the students of XII D to show you a few glimpses into the journey of women who have traveled long and weary roads to attain freedom. A journey that has taken centuries to end.
____________________________________________________________________

Let us now see the Indian woman take the steps towards freedom, through the pages of history….
We shall first see the traditional woman of the 1900’s and there she comes, walking with her head bent- an embodiment of humility, self-sacrifice and fear. Her face hidden behind a veil, she does not even have the freedom to feel the breeze against her face. Just like the women who fought for freedom then, she too tries to remove her veil, but alas! Society does not allow her and her meek spirit goes down never to have a glimpse of freedom.
_____________________________________________________________________
Next, comes the woman of the 1950’s, she has shed the veil but she still does not have the courage to lift her head high and walk bravely. Like the women of her time she tries to break the shackles of tradition and lifts her head but she was not strong enough for Society which punished her and she too goes down without a breath of freedom.
_____________________________________________________________________
Finally, we shall see the young women of this era; there they come, icons of self-confidence, yet Society tries to stop them but these strong-spirited women triumph and Society bows in respect of their courage.
_____________________________________________________________________
We should never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed people can change the world. These women bring sense, confidence and courage to the minds and hearts of all the women around them. Together, they rise up against all norms of tradition, society and poverty, to break the chains of discrimination and prove that women can do things as well as men and some even better.
_____________________________________________________________________
Woman! You are an embodiment of sacrifice, silent suffering, humility, faith and knowledge. Know your strength and capabilities and as Helen Keller said, “Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.”
Thus, the objective of Modern India should be to enhance the self-image and self-confidence of women; to create an environment where women can seek knowledge and information which empowers them to play a positive role in society and in the world at present. Because the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world!

Arts group editorial - School Magazine.

2006-01-05T02:30:00.000-08:00

The impudence or looking down upon the students of the Arts & Humanities group is not an isolated phenomenon that occurs only in Coimbatore or Tamil Nadu, it is an issue for there are instances of such disrespect throughout the country. This article contains inputs from students across various strata of society and regions such as Delhi, Mumbai, Itanagar, Pune, Madurai, Chennai, Bangalore, Cochin etc., Everywhere Arts group students are dogged by the question, "Oh no! Why did you take the Arts group?" I do not claim that everyone has a bad opinion of the Arts group, but there does seem to be a more prodigious number of people who seem to dismissive of an Arts student than the few who are not.

THE TREATMENT OF THE STUDENTS:

Most of us joined this group well-aware of the general disparagements that we may receive from the people who seem to be intrinsically dismissive of the Arts group. The parents are themselves sceptical about the future of the children entering the Arts group, but the general opinion amongst the students is that choosing the group must be based on the student's own personal and logical predilections and not that of their well-meaning parents. One ought to remove the entrenched belief that only dull students take the arts group. The older generation must probably be thinking that we have an outstanding karmic payload on our heads to have "suffered" to take the Arts group in this life cycle. Many others think that taking the Arts group is a pre-requisite to "nobody-dom". There are people, even teachers who had considered the fact that I had taken the Arts group as a piece of childish rebellion. When will people come to understand that we are ensconced in our own goals and desires- a zest to achieve and that being in the arts group helps us to set a path towards realizing our greatest dreams. These days each Arts student has to be demonically clever to adroitly deflect such discouraging questions triggered by the airing of ill-disguised innuendos by well-meaning relatives.

THE ATTITUDE OF THE PEOPLE:

I do not know why people, more so the parents are unduly infatuated with the professions of a Doctor and an Engineer. It is a known fact that barring a few, most people who have passed out of these professional courses are redundant. There is a multitude of professions out there in the world but there seem to be too many people who are in a deep comatose funk about that fact. I can only hope that someday people might broaden their perspectives about education and the resulting professions.

There will always be those inequitable gaps overcoming the genteel intimacy between the Science students and the Commerce students. Many a student has ruefully admitted that it would have been a wiser choice to join the Arts group. But their attitudes tend to be capricious: one moment they regret their choice and the next, they become fiercely protective. Anyway, one has to understand its naturally incumbent of a student to defend his subject fiercely. Though, we may not be associated with the trappings that become a Science student, we do acquiesce the woes of our brethren who study Science. I therefore,do not think its wrong to ask for a little more encouragement and praise for Arts students, as it may contribute greatly to their progress.

It would not be right on my part to utilize formal rhetoric to change your opinions by citing a litany of the difficulties we also do face, but whatever group we take it does not undermine the basic edifice upon which all of us stand that is " KNOWLEDGE IS POWER". Our school definitely provides a prodigious wealth of learning, it just depends on how one utilizes the wealth. Finally we shall see who will succeed and who will flounder in this much touted competition called life and the tangled web that it weaves.

Blitzkrieg

2005-09-14T01:25:00.000-07:00

Adolf Hitler , the Nazi leader of Germany led a lightening attack on Russia during the Second World War. This attack termed as "Blitzkrieg" destroyed not only the great city of Leningrad but also the lives, hopes and dreams of millions of Russians. It was one of the worst periods in World history where people even resorted to cannibalism to survive the 900 day siege. Russia, had at that point of time, almost given up hope of a better life.

This little boy represents the spirit of Russia, the spirit of all those vanquished dreams and souls of the blitzkrieg. This poem shows how the spirit of Russia takes hope again to lead its beloved people to a better life and a better future.

RUSSIA’S HOPE

Alone he walked on the crooked road;
The fires having wiped out the people he loved.
For his brave soldiers he hummed an ode,
But he burned with silent fury, that none cared
What became of his beloved land.
The very land that farmers had once carefully tilled,
Had now become mere rubble and sand,
Full of corpses that the enemies had killed.
Gone were the peoples’ tears-
For they could shed no more.
Their thoughts held untold fears,
And their hearts and souls had become sore.

The Germans attacked with mighty swords,
With guns, planes and tanks,
Unlistening to the peoples’ pleading words.
Yet, those who survived offered no thanks,
Because, now their lives had gone
And there was no more laughter or beauty.
There was nothing that could be done
To bring back the proud Russian city.
Nine hundred days, the siege had lasted
And finally the Germans made their retreat.
But none would forget the bombs that had blasted
Their very lives and souls on those empty streets.

Despite the bitter cold,
The little boy trudged on,
But now he took steps that were bold
And he no longer looked forlorn.
He walked forth determined
That he would do his best.
He would not let his country be undermined,
And he swore to wipe out the German pest.
This little boy held in his hand
A better future for those deprived.
He would bring back the glory of his land
And so he struggled and strived.
He walked straight, braver now
Knowing the people would cope
And then, to them he would show
That anything could be done with a little hope.

And Russia would rise again!

ODE TO MARTYRS

2004-08-15T01:26:00.000-07:00

ODE TO THE MARTYRS
Though we enjoyed freedom for the past 58 years,

Lets take time today to remember the tears,

That millions and thousands of Indians have shed,

And salute the martyrs who left,dead.

Remember all their toil

For this very soil.

Their blood and sweat

Once made this land wet.

Why can't each and every Indian see,

That they wanted India to be truly free,

Not just from the invaders who had broken in,

But from every form of evil,corruption and sin.

They went through so much misery,

To leave India's freedom as their legacy.

Their deeds were not just part of history,

But part of everyone's personal story.

So don't just look up in admiration,

Work now towards making India a better nation.

For,India hopes you have realized,

The dreams those martyrs visualized.

Love songs... apparently :D

2003-10-29T02:28:00.000-08:00

ANYTIME,ANYWHERE

Why do you have to say
Only when someone does ask
Why do you have to keep it all at bay
And put yourself to so much task.

Why do you have to hide
And not say it at all...
( Can't u see our arms wide)
( To hold you as you fall...)

(Chorus)
Anytime, Anywhere
Anything and Everything
Not just when you cant bear
But all the time - Now i sing
Anytime,Anywhere
Anything and Everything
Just for you, I'm here
To mend any broken wing.

Fly free, Fly away
Take your life in its sway
I'm here for you anyway
Not someday but everyday
Anytime,Anywhere
Anything and Everything
Just for you,I'm here
All the time; Now I sing...

Anytime
Anywhere
Anything and Everything
My arms wide, Right by your side
I love you and I'm here for you...

Anytime, Anywhere
Anything and Everything
I'm here for you (baby)
And I love you ( all the time)
And I love you (all the time)

Anytime ....Anywhere...
Anything... and everything...
I love you......

LOVE ME BACK

Lately, I’ve felt you
Felt you everywhere
In my heart and my soul
You were a part of me
I lost my better half
When you left me alone

Don’t you understand
That I miss you
Don’t you believe
That I need you
Don’t you know…
That I love you
Then why don’t you just love me back?... ( repeat)

Sadly, you just left..
Said nothing… but you left…
Never told me or anybody…
You just went your own way ( Don’t )

Suddenly, I was alone
I ceased to exist
In your mind.

I was the past,
A past to be forgotten
But you are my future
My light at the end of the cave… ( Don’t )

Though I try to forget
We both know I can’t
You mean so much to me,
You will never leave my heart.
You are still a part of me,
I can never let you go…
I just cant help it…
So for the last time I’m asking ya…. ( Don’t – twice)

OLD WORDS

2003-08-09T01:27:00.000-07:00

I REMEMBER :

Away from you
I’m sinking,
In the sea of despair,
Of desire, of love

I still remember you
And everything we used to do
I still remember you
Our rides across the miles
Filled with our exultant smiles
I still remember you
Every word you spoke
Everything we did
I don’t think I will forget
Cause its not that I remember
Its my heart that bleeds and aches
With the memories of you…..

FROZEN RAIN

Its raining out there
And I’m freezing inside
I’m frozen
Whether its your attitude
Or the time I spent with you…

You seem so cold
So distant…
Makes me long for times old
Wonder if it all was a dream…

After two months of emptiness
My heart is now damp
With the rain of two weeks

Friends or more?
Have we lost what we had
Will ‘we’ ever come back?
I want to ask
The million questions
That I think of…
But then I don’t want to lose you…
Be my friend or whatever…
I just need you near me forever…….

History.

2003-07-24T02:16:00.000-07:00

What's more torturous as history

Making learning it a misery

Full of years and periods

Memorizing everyone of the Dravid's

Of King Louis and Henry

And Elizabeth,the both

Of Colbert and Wellesley

And Dupleix and Dalhousie

What's in it for us

To know of our miserable history...

When wars and battles

Innumerable fought...

Thousands died

And treaties signed

Only to be broken again.

Money was taken...

Palaces were looted,

Monuments were destroyed,

And Queens roasted themselves,

Beautiful things have gone

Because of all those people

Innumerable lives have gone

Their wailing and shrieks still echo through my books...

Do we need remembrance of all these horrors?

No! We should forget the past

Or atleast learn from their mistakes

But as we do neither

We're condemned to the same terrors..

Men and their Egos

Making playgrounds of whole countries...

People toiling for freedom

In so called great kingdoms

The story of India is a sad one

And to have heard it once is enough

No more! No more I say,

Of all the blood shed

Wars between kith and kin

Leading only to more sin

For want of more land...

Land...Land is free

So are its people...

But they-their egos

Never agreed or knew.

Now here we all stand

Divided because of them,

Wars between religions still continue

From times old and new.

We should stop all of this,

And start afresh,

Open a new book,

And write a new story

To forget our terrible history....

10th grade ramblings

2003-06-29T02:19:00.000-07:00

CAPTIVE LESSONS :

Eyes move tired
Across the numerous pages
Head aches with the burden of such knowledge
Books surround me
They will decide my fate
The executioners
For the answers they seek
I may not know.

This life is not for the meek
Not time to go slow
Fast,very fast
While we are bound in iron cast
Will we last
In such a competition?
A race for life
Coz’ we depend on this
It will decide
Whether we rise or fall

When the attestation comes
Some with detest go
Some cry, some laugh
Some have their fates sealed.

We all strive
In this dark world
Oblivious of anything
But our books.

Driven like slaves,
Going back and forth
We work and toil
And at last we succeed
Is it a vain hope?
It depends…
Oh! What did we do
To be held captive
By our own knowledge?

This poem was written during those first FEW frenetic and enthusiastic weeks of cramming in 10 th grade… I lost my interest after a while… I had the most fun of my life in 10th grade, managed not to study , have fun and still get 85 % and district 2nd in French! Amazing year!

PARTED

Written during the reshuffling of classes just as 10th std started...

I sit at my lonely desk

With thoughts about you, my friend

Long since I saw you

And my mind freely wanders

Thinking of Eden- paradise

Where you and I

Happily sing and dance

In a soulful trance

Moving round and round...

Together...holding hands

For this our last dance...

And then freedom will be bound...

A fate sent forth by our captive lessons

Festival ponderings.

2002-11-05T02:25:00.000-08:00

Diwali....

I hope this festival of light

Will make all our lives bright.

I hope as all the lamps burn,

Your hearts will also churn

Out love and care

To all those near and far.

Amidst all this pomp and brilliance

Lets also make a difference,

In the lives of the less fortunate-

Lets spread joy and celebrate.

This november,

We should come together

To share all our happiness,

And spread the brightness.

For this feeling of togetherness

Will triumph over all sadness

And carry us through any grief and fear

Throughout this coming new year.

New year ( not completed) *bleargh*

Let this new year

Ring in loud and clear

Bringing love and cheer

To all those near and dear!

The First poems. For Women.

2002-09-10T02:21:00.000-07:00

THE PLIGHT OF A WOMAN:

There was a rose
Which did bloom
As the sun rose.
Only in dark gloom
Did the rose wilt
As the trees shook with a slight lilt.

Nearby, a voice sung a lullaby
To her son with a malady
A voice…so pure
A voice…hoping for a cure
The chiming of the church bell
Seemed with every ring to make him well

Again the rose bloomed
The sun also rose
A dark shadow, the fire he did douse
The doused fire of hope
For as usual he was on dope.

As she felt him grope around
Her life to tie a rope around
She stood still as he beat her
Again and again…
And in his eyes was a horrid gleam
For he was humanity
And she was woman.

She stood brave
Even though she did crave
The liking of humanity
But, nay for the Viking anger he hath
And the gentle dove that she was.

She stood brave
With a visage so grave
Because for her son
A mask she had to don
To fight for freedom
In this vast free kingdom

Then did the rose wilt?
Yes to the lilting hymns
It rose up to the lord
To tell him of a story
A story of a woman…

Of one woman
Against never-yielding humanity…

The mother represents all women, while the man represents the older generation or rather the people who ill treat women… while the child, her son represents the younger generation of this world... The one that will change the dismal situation of the world at present. Things are slowly changing. There have been many changes since this poem has been written in the year 2002 to now… here is one more poem…

This poem is about the women and the society who accuse her of crimes she had no part in but was rather a victim of…it was inspired by some event which was in the news though at this moment I don’t remember which one, the events like the one that inspired this poem still continue.

ESCAPE

There she ran
Away and away
From the ken of her clan
By the trees in full sway

Away from the ramble
Of society in a scramble
They caused here trouble
And made her grumble.

So away, she ran away
Even then did
She never her fears allay
For the greater fear of being outcast
From this world based on creed and caste
Her once pure beauty
Would now surely get pity.

And again she dashed through the bramble,
Without ever a grumble
The thunder was a distant rumble
And down the hill she went a tumble

To escape was her motive
Because she was held captive
By her own dear people
Her so called dear people.

For accused she was of cheating,
For which she awaited a beating
Her mortal enemy they were
Confused, she sat down to rest
Which was very rare
Sitting under a lonely peepul
Drowning in her great sorrow
And hoping for a better tomorrow.

A future never to come
Or a future quite near?
Her fate is in your hands…