Restless, Restricted, Empty ...
I want to fly, soar. I also want to tear my aching body and my bruised heart apart. I want to set my mind free. I want to run and take-off. How I hate unrequited efforts and emotions. I'm displeased - not content.
I stand at a cliff. On the edge. Not looking down into the endless abyss but at another massive cliff in the yonder past a magnificent ocean reflecting the stormy gray of the dark clouds over it. I stand amidst my thorns desiring the colours of life held yonder.
I want to take the leap...something unknown is holding me back. Holding me rooted. I hear the thunder, feel the rain tearing away my clothes exposing the scars of the years past... and my own sun eats away at my soul... my eyes hollow black holes... my smile thin,twisted,mean... a gaunt face surviving the everyday battles waging inside.
A racous dark voice... JUMP... jump... die again your 1000 deaths...
A tiny haunting voice; leap.. LEAP.... for the half chance of a near normal life...NooOO
Stuck... stuck to the insanity that grounds my soul for life....
My eternal sunshine... save me...make my mind spotless don't eat away my soul.
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