Saturday, August 9, 2008


He sat. He got up. He paced. He tried to drink the coffee offered to him, but his hands shook too much. Earlier that day, just as he'd sat down to work, thinking of his beautiful wife .. and... their..
*tring...................trinnnnngggg* He was shaken out of his reverie, one look at the number and his heart nearly stopped, he knew before they told him. " Sir, it's your wife" He ran out of his office, raced to the hospital and that's when the longest day of his life began.

He paced some more, shooting worried, questioning glances at the nurses hurrying past him. He almost considered breaking into the ICU just for one look.. for someone, anyone to tell him that she would be ok. Visions clouded his mind, of her smiling at him, of all the times they sat outside on the verandah, talking and making plans for their grand life which had yet begun.

Which should have begun by now, their first dream to come true.. but it had been 4 hours already. He imagined her screaming for him. Suddenly, he heard someone else whimpering. A little girl's voice, not yet a woman... he heard her scream and then quieten down. Sickened to the core, he went to the window for some fresh air.

He wondered to whom that little voice belonged to and for a silent minute he hoped she was well too. The doctor came out and told him that He was sorry it was taking so long but there had been some slight complications, nothing that could not be dealt with. He asked him to sit down and wait and with agitated furious eyes that questioned so much but got no answers he sat down, quietly.

Soon, he heard the squeak of a bed being pushed around and worriedly looked up but then he saw who that plaintive voice belonged to. She was merely a girl. And she looked deathly pale and half dead while they wheeled her into the small recovery room. She had no one waiting for her, no one standing by her, and his heart went out to her. He prayed fervently that his own wife would come out safe.

Another half-hour passed and his thoughts were sad and violent, he hated himself for bringing this upon her, but she had also wanted the same dream he'd wanted.. she had wanted and dreamt of it even more than he could possibly have, Oh how he wished they'd never dreamt of it together, how he wished that he could only hold her again, safe in his arms. To see her smile again...

He heard it. No.. he thought.. he'd probably imagined it in his own delirium. He looked up and saw that girl, looking slightly more alive.. smile at him, a small encouraging brave smile. He heard it again... his dream.. alive... now..

The doctor rushed out with a little pink bundle in his arms, he cried at the sight of her, so happy, so full of love for that tiny little pink bundle, with the tiny little arms and that little mop of curly brown hair and those beautiful little eyes blinking at the new light and life all around her. The doctor put her in his arms. The nurses all said that she looked like him, while he knew secretly that she looked every bit like his wife. He looked at her and looked at her and loved her so much.. with all his heart and he knew this was a love that would go on forever.

He turned to see the girl looking at him with glassy eyes. She gave him a weak smile and said "Your daughter.... she looks beautiful." He beamed at her and said "Yes, she does" and then looking at her lying so weak, he panicked.. Where was his wife? Where is she?? He asked the girl to hold the baby next to her, placed her carefully in between the wires and went to find the doctor.

The girl looked at the baby for a few seconds and pulled it close to her with tears in her eyes, she stroked the perfect pink lips, the perfect smooth skin, felt the perfect brown curls and the pain tugged at her heart like nothing ever else could. When the baby caught her finger and held it , she thought she would almost die of heartache.

More loud voices and a set of squeaky wheels following in, the man was sobbing, his wife.. his precious wife was so weak, nearly dying. They hooked her to a heart monitor and left the man pacing, staring at his wife with the eyes of an animal cornered in a cage.. a man cornered by fate. He looked over and saw the girl holding his daughter so close, with a powerful pain shielded with a love on her face .. a love only another mother could have for someone else's baby and then it hit him. He knew why she was there as his eyes traced the tubes from her hands leading up to transfusions of blood and glucose.

The machine which was to spell his wife's fate , beeped and blinked intermittently in the background, as he saw his beautiful wife lying so calm, so quiet, nearly dying yet glowing after giving birth and he saw the deathly-pale girl struggling with pain and love yet holding his baby close even though she'd willingly given hers up... he realized there was only so much of a space between life and death. And yes, they could both be in the same hospital room, both showing their faces in that mysterious balance called fate.

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