Mine. Half - that I hadn't stood by.
Some muffled with tears and apologies.
And the rest held back down into the darkness.
(you know... that very same black hole, with black words and black paint?)
My father's bearing down -
Sadly. IMPERIOUSLY.
( NO..no...FROM NOW ON ITS LIVING BY MY RULES OR YOU CAN LEAVE)
My mother's, her loving salt to my sorry wounds.
Hurtful. Painful. Angering.
( how could you. HOW COULD YOOOUU !?!? all that we did for you)
My grandmother's tolerant idealism.
( it's ok..it's ok.. buck up child, or get married )
My grandfather's silent ones.
(...)
My sister's indifferent adolescence.
( So..! guess what happened in school today )
My friends' worried encouragements.
( it's ok love, you can do this. are you ok ? )
Now yours join theirs.
All of that and more from you.
Words all around me.
Words.
that.
have.
the.
power of hope.
but.
show.
the.
pain of love.
- Hi, I quit law school to chase an uncertain dream -
- do YOU wanna say something too? -
Maybe this IS a little too personal , for a public blog. But it's sorta of the backdrop for all this creativity. So I'd rather have it here.
All the best for your FUTURE...
ReplyDeletethis is amazing madz. i know i can't imagine what you're going thru and all, but i experience a part of the overbearing imperiousness and silent reproaches from the same sources. for different reasons, yes, but its still there.
ReplyDeleteexcept i hold it all in, i guess i prefer to let things die down rather than put what is said/how i feel about it down in words.
lol full personal comment only.
words show the pain of love, beautiful.
@crazy little thing..
ReplyDeletethanks leel one. and i wonder why you would. super dooper genius kid that you are, but sometimes our awesomeness just isnt enough for some ppl no :P
i dont usually write abt it either.but i did.
and its ok. temme all aboot it.
much love! and thank you for the comment, i'm touched!
i don't know if i should actually be commenting on something so personal,but I am anyway. Apologies in advance. This is a truly stunning post.If it's any consolation,this happens in every middle class family,including mine.They say they are not thrusting their dreams on you,but they surely thrust their definition of a career and their definition of success on you. When it doesn't sit well on your shoulders,god help you for you are sure to be made guilt ridden.
ReplyDeleteBut,they are family after all.they try to make you do what they feel is best.