The most beautiful pain.

Self-realization hits you and you know its not something new-
When you look into the mirror and see the real you,
Admitting to the horrors,unravelling your mind's maze,
And all the smog clears but you're still in a daze.

When you reach the end,
You'd also know that you cant mend
The mistake that is you-you in vain,
For Self-realization is the greatest pain.

You'd stumble now,struggling to hold on
To the dreams and joys that seem long gone,
Groping here and there you reach a friend's loving hand,
But fear grips you and you fall unto the dreary sand.

But then suddenly your courage is back,
And you dont cut anymore slack.
You move and walk and trudge on somehow
Reaching towards his open arms full of love

He wipes away your pain and your tears,
And calms away those insecure fears.
In his arms you become strong,
And inside,you steadily destroy all the wrong.

Finally with a clear heart and mind,
You look at him with love and you soon find-
Self-realization is the most beautiful pain,
For you find your true self and stand only to gain!

The Receiving End of That.

Monday morning dawns bright and sunny. She wakes up to the incessant knocking at her door, she looks at her watch, DAMN ! it’s only 6:15, but she’s got to get up now even though she slept only at 3:45.

She goes downstairs and as she descends she hears a “ wOnDerFuL” cry of welcome,

“ AAhAA vanthuta maharani…kizha irangi vanthutaa Rani !” ( Aaa, the Great queen has come, she has come down, the queen!) She sighs, and walks into the spacious dining hall. The golden sunlight shines through the windows reflecting off the resplendent polished silver and sparkling crystal in the cupboards. It was a beautiful day, as beautiful as any other day seemed but never was.

She sees HIM..tousled hair and majestic moustache, regally sitting at the table, his sharp eyes ignoring her and reading the newspaper..she looked at him with a longing deep inside her heart, staring at him , memories of wonderful times spent together flooding and clouding her already throbbing head.

THE KID snaps her out of her reverie shouting at her..” Hey YOU !, you do the outside, I’ll look after the inside”…

The Kid – once sweet, loving, and nice. She still is and will always be..to them but not anymore to her. The Kid much more loved for her obedience, her undemanding ways and her homeliness. But all that or nothing, she was nothing like her, never would be what she was or ever will be. Even then,The Kid was much more loved while she was just tolerated.

She walks outside and gets greeted, a genuine heartfelt greeting from two beings who have no need for any pretensions with her. THE DOGS – softly barking, lovingly jumping and prancing around her…her best friends and she smiles for the first and last time that morning – an unpretentious ,genuine smile…

Sadly, good ain’t good enough to last forever and now not even a minute longer for she saw HER..beautiful yet ugly, kind yet cruel, loving as well as hating.. a contradictory personality who’s good is reserved for The Man and The Kid and the rest as usual..for who else…?!

A jeer..” What are you doing there playing with the dogs, are they going to give you your food? “

** I wish they did, I really wish they did, they’d give it with a better heart than you ever will**

“ Pick up the broom!! “

She picks it up and sweeps away the dirty dry leaves from the vaasal ( front entrance of a house) wishing she could do the same thing with her life. She sweeps it clean and sprinkles water neatly. If only life could be cleansed as easily as this.

Even though it was perfectly done, The Woman couldn’t resist screeching, “ Can’t you even do this simple job efficiently? Take away those piles of leaves!! Look how many spots u have missed! Sprinkle the water all over again..when will you learn, oh god!! What will I do!!”

** screech on woman!! **

“ Bitch!, you don’t even know a single simple kolam! Call The Kid!”

** yeah, yeah..what do I know anyway?? The Kid..Oh yes she knows everything**

She calls The Kid and goes inside the house. The Man sipping his tea, gives her a glance but does not say anything.

The kitchen was at its busiest in the mornings. Everyone was there yet she feels stationary as things around her moved so fast…more taunts, more sneers..

“ Can’t you even scrape a carrot without making a mess of it?”

“ Look at the amount of water u have spilt on the floor, I know you are out to get me..you want me to fall don’t you?”

“ Clean it up you incompetent idiot!!”

Then some peace, sipping her coffee, enveloped in her thoughts…. HE speaks now

“ They haven’t given you coffee to sit here and while away your time! Get back to the kitchen! You bring out the worst in everyone!”

** Et tu….? **

Work and some more work, finally everyone heads upstairs to get ready..she sits in her room unmoving while they bustle around outside. One by one they leave – The Man to make more money and be busy, The Kid to better (butter?!) her brains, but someone hasn’t left yet.

The Woman walks into the room !

“ You uncooperative bitch ! Can’t you get ready like the rest of us? Look at your room! Squalor I say!! Absolute squalor..! how can u live here? Your room is a disgrace to this house and you are a disgrace to the people who live here.. How much more uncooperative can you get? I hope you die a slow death ..can’t you help us out? We are all in a rush , all you do is sit around staring into space…I hope when you die you ache and writhe in pain. Why don’t you just kill yourself ?? You want me to help you? I’ll give you a dose of arsenic, I do know how to kill you without anyone ever suspecting me, do u know that?

I’ll make you want to tear yourself apart in pain…my curses are with you, I hope you fall unto ruin ..you are never going to succeed in anything ..now I know why you’ve failed so many times it’s because of my curses;our curses will always be upon you!!

The sooner you leave this household the better, then atleast we can all live in peace…have u no mouth? Don’t u have anything to say? How will you? I own everything you think you own, even the clothes you wear..hhahahahaa…”

She looks up into The Woman’s eyes so full of fury but somewhere underneath the anger, she detects a milli micron of love from where the fury stemmed.

** I don’t want to speak back, because I am leaving and the fewer words I say, the better,because I’ll leave soon; so don’t worry!!**

The Woman exits screaming and cursing leaving her cruel words hanging in the air, in every nook and corner. Now she goes, she goes to be kind and to provide care to the hundreds who come to her.

The Elders enter the house, bickering as usual even though it was a beautiful and special day for them. She feels at blame for this also as everything had changed once The Elders had left the house. They left because of her…because of her….

Unhappiness and misery are things that man makes for himself but she made it for them, loads and loads of it.

She will leave soon, as promised but a question loomed from inside the darkness of her soul….To leave forever never to return or To just leave and not bother for now ….

She lets the questions fade away into oblivion, into the darkness again .

** I will leave , but I leave to show them who I really am**

With a determined smile, somewhere inside her a lamp had been lit to drive away the darkness of despair….

School Stuff.

WOmANNNNN

This whole post is about women and their problems and whaevvaaa.. we did a skit in school on this and bagged the best assembly prize for it this year.. so heres the script which I had prepared for that skit … it had great music too from safri duo RISE.. used goldwave to make a great mix … we were a hit..



India has been enjoying freedom for the past 58 yrs but Indian women have slowly attained it only in the last few years and though the struggle against the constraints of poverty, religion and society, is not yet over, women are being awarded gradually with more equal rights.
So, here we are, the students of XII D to show you a few glimpses into the journey of women who have traveled long and weary roads to attain freedom. A journey that has taken centuries to end.
____________________________________________________________________

Let us now see the Indian woman take the steps towards freedom, through the pages of history….
We shall first see the traditional woman of the 1900’s and there she comes, walking with her head bent- an embodiment of humility, self-sacrifice and fear. Her face hidden behind a veil, she does not even have the freedom to feel the breeze against her face. Just like the women who fought for freedom then, she too tries to remove her veil, but alas! Society does not allow her and her meek spirit goes down never to have a glimpse of freedom.
_____________________________________________________________________
Next, comes the woman of the 1950’s, she has shed the veil but she still does not have the courage to lift her head high and walk bravely. Like the women of her time she tries to break the shackles of tradition and lifts her head but she was not strong enough for Society which punished her and she too goes down without a breath of freedom.
_____________________________________________________________________
Finally, we shall see the young women of this era; there they come, icons of self-confidence, yet Society tries to stop them but these strong-spirited women triumph and Society bows in respect of their courage.
_____________________________________________________________________
We should never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed people can change the world. These women bring sense, confidence and courage to the minds and hearts of all the women around them. Together, they rise up against all norms of tradition, society and poverty, to break the chains of discrimination and prove that women can do things as well as men and some even better.
_____________________________________________________________________
Woman! You are an embodiment of sacrifice, silent suffering, humility, faith and knowledge. Know your strength and capabilities and as Helen Keller said, “Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.”
Thus, the objective of Modern India should be to enhance the self-image and self-confidence of women; to create an environment where women can seek knowledge and information which empowers them to play a positive role in society and in the world at present. Because the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world!

Arts group editorial - School Magazine.

The impudence or looking down upon the students of the Arts & Humanities group is not an isolated phenomenon that occurs only in Coimbatore or Tamil Nadu, it is an issue for there are instances of such disrespect throughout the country. This article contains inputs from students across various strata of society and regions such as Delhi, Mumbai, Itanagar, Pune, Madurai, Chennai, Bangalore, Cochin etc., Everywhere Arts group students are dogged by the question, "Oh no! Why did you take the Arts group?" I do not claim that everyone has a bad opinion of the Arts group, but there does seem to be a more prodigious number of people who seem to dismissive of an Arts student than the few who are not.

THE TREATMENT OF THE STUDENTS:

Most of us joined this group well-aware of the general disparagements that we may receive from the people who seem to be intrinsically dismissive of the Arts group. The parents are themselves sceptical about the future of the children entering the Arts group, but the general opinion amongst the students is that choosing the group must be based on the student's own personal and logical predilections and not that of their well-meaning parents. One ought to remove the entrenched belief that only dull students take the arts group. The older generation must probably be thinking that we have an outstanding karmic payload on our heads to have "suffered" to take the Arts group in this life cycle. Many others think that taking the Arts group is a pre-requisite to "nobody-dom". There are people, even teachers who had considered the fact that I had taken the Arts group as a piece of childish rebellion. When will people come to understand that we are ensconced in our own goals and desires- a zest to achieve and that being in the arts group helps us to set a path towards realizing our greatest dreams. These days each Arts student has to be demonically clever to adroitly deflect such discouraging questions triggered by the airing of ill-disguised innuendos by well-meaning relatives.

THE ATTITUDE OF THE PEOPLE:

I do not know why people, more so the parents are unduly infatuated with the professions of a Doctor and an Engineer. It is a known fact that barring a few, most people who have passed out of these professional courses are redundant. There is a multitude of professions out there in the world but there seem to be too many people who are in a deep comatose funk about that fact. I can only hope that someday people might broaden their perspectives about education and the resulting professions.

There will always be those inequitable gaps overcoming the genteel intimacy between the Science students and the Commerce students. Many a student has ruefully admitted that it would have been a wiser choice to join the Arts group. But their attitudes tend to be capricious: one moment they regret their choice and the next, they become fiercely protective. Anyway, one has to understand its naturally incumbent of a student to defend his subject fiercely. Though, we may not be associated with the trappings that become a Science student, we do acquiesce the woes of our brethren who study Science. I therefore,do not think its wrong to ask for a little more encouragement and praise for Arts students, as it may contribute greatly to their progress.

It would not be right on my part to utilize formal rhetoric to change your opinions by citing a litany of the difficulties we also do face, but whatever group we take it does not undermine the basic edifice upon which all of us stand that is " KNOWLEDGE IS POWER". Our school definitely provides a prodigious wealth of learning, it just depends on how one utilizes the wealth. Finally we shall see who will succeed and who will flounder in this much touted competition called life and the tangled web that it weaves.

Blitzkrieg

Adolf Hitler , the Nazi leader of Germany led a lightening attack on Russia during the Second World War. This attack termed as "Blitzkrieg" destroyed not only the great city of Leningrad but also the lives, hopes and dreams of millions of Russians. It was one of the worst periods in World history where people even resorted to cannibalism to survive the 900 day siege. Russia, had at that point of time, almost given up hope of a better life.

This little boy represents the spirit of Russia, the spirit of all those vanquished dreams and souls of the blitzkrieg. This poem shows how the spirit of Russia takes hope again to lead its beloved people to a better life and a better future.



RUSSIA’S HOPE


Alone he walked on the crooked road;
The fires having wiped out the people he loved.
For his brave soldiers he hummed an ode,
But he burned with silent fury, that none cared
What became of his beloved land.
The very land that farmers had once carefully tilled,
Had now become mere rubble and sand,
Full of corpses that the enemies had killed.
Gone were the peoples’ tears-
For they could shed no more.
Their thoughts held untold fears,
And their hearts and souls had become sore.

The Germans attacked with mighty swords,
With guns, planes and tanks,
Unlistening to the peoples’ pleading words.
Yet, those who survived offered no thanks,
Because, now their lives had gone
And there was no more laughter or beauty.
There was nothing that could be done
To bring back the proud Russian city.
Nine hundred days, the siege had lasted
And finally the Germans made their retreat.
But none would forget the bombs that had blasted
Their very lives and souls on those empty streets.

Despite the bitter cold,
The little boy trudged on,
But now he took steps that were bold
And he no longer looked forlorn.
He walked forth determined
That he would do his best.
He would not let his country be undermined,
And he swore to wipe out the German pest.
This little boy held in his hand
A better future for those deprived.
He would bring back the glory of his land
And so he struggled and strived.
He walked straight, braver now
Knowing the people would cope
And then, to them he would show
That anything could be done with a little hope.

And Russia would rise again!

ODE TO MARTYRS

ODE TO THE MARTYRS
Though we enjoyed freedom for the past 58 years,

Lets take time today to remember the tears,

That millions and thousands of Indians have shed,

And salute the martyrs who left,dead.

Remember all their toil

For this very soil.

Their blood and sweat

Once made this land wet.

Why can't each and every Indian see,

That they wanted India to be truly free,

Not just from the invaders who had broken in,

But from every form of evil,corruption and sin.

They went through so much misery,

To leave India's freedom as their legacy.

Their deeds were not just part of history,

But part of everyone's personal story.

So don't just look up in admiration,

Work now towards making India a better nation.

For,India hopes you have realized,

The dreams those martyrs visualized.

Love songs... apparently :D

ANYTIME,ANYWHERE

Why do you have to say
Only when someone does ask
Why do you have to keep it all at bay
And put yourself to so much task.

Why do you have to hide
And not say it at all...
( Can't u see our arms wide)
( To hold you as you fall...)

(Chorus)
Anytime, Anywhere
Anything and Everything
Not just when you cant bear
But all the time - Now i sing
Anytime,Anywhere
Anything and Everything
Just for you, I'm here
To mend any broken wing.



Fly free, Fly away
Take your life in its sway
I'm here for you anyway
Not someday but everyday
Anytime,Anywhere
Anything and Everything
Just for you,I'm here
All the time; Now I sing...


Anytime
Anywhere
Anything and Everything
My arms wide, Right by your side
I love you and I'm here for you...

Anytime, Anywhere
Anything and Everything
I'm here for you (baby)
And I love you ( all the time)
And I love you (all the time)

Anytime ....Anywhere...
Anything... and everything...
I love you......

LOVE ME BACK

Lately, I’ve felt you
Felt you everywhere
In my heart and my soul
You were a part of me
I lost my better half
When you left me alone

Don’t you understand
That I miss you
Don’t you believe
That I need you
Don’t you know…
That I love you
Then why don’t you just love me back?... ( repeat)

Sadly, you just left..
Said nothing… but you left…
Never told me or anybody…
You just went your own way ( Don’t )

Suddenly, I was alone
I ceased to exist
In your mind.

I was the past,
A past to be forgotten
But you are my future
My light at the end of the cave… ( Don’t )

Though I try to forget
We both know I can’t
You mean so much to me,
You will never leave my heart.
You are still a part of me,
I can never let you go…
I just cant help it…
So for the last time I’m asking ya…. ( Don’t – twice)

OLD WORDS

I REMEMBER :

Away from you
I’m sinking,
In the sea of despair,
Of desire, of love

I still remember you
And everything we used to do
I still remember you
Our rides across the miles
Filled with our exultant smiles
I still remember you
Every word you spoke
Everything we did
I don’t think I will forget
Cause its not that I remember
Its my heart that bleeds and aches
With the memories of you…..



FROZEN RAIN

Its raining out there
And I’m freezing inside
I’m frozen
Whether its your attitude
Or the time I spent with you…

You seem so cold
So distant…
Makes me long for times old
Wonder if it all was a dream…

After two months of emptiness
My heart is now damp
With the rain of two weeks

Friends or more?
Have we lost what we had
Will ‘we’ ever come back?
I want to ask
The million questions
That I think of…
But then I don’t want to lose you…
Be my friend or whatever…
I just need you near me forever…….

History.

What's more torturous as history

Making learning it a misery

Full of years and periods

Memorizing everyone of the Dravid's

Of King Louis and Henry

And Elizabeth,the both

Of Colbert and Wellesley

And Dupleix and Dalhousie

What's in it for us

To know of our miserable history...

When wars and battles

Innumerable fought...

Thousands died

And treaties signed

Only to be broken again.

Money was taken...

Palaces were looted,

Monuments were destroyed,

And Queens roasted themselves,

Beautiful things have gone

Because of all those people

Innumerable lives have gone

Their wailing and shrieks still echo through my books...

Do we need remembrance of all these horrors?

No! We should forget the past

Or atleast learn from their mistakes

But as we do neither

We're condemned to the same terrors..

Men and their Egos

Making playgrounds of whole countries...

People toiling for freedom

In so called great kingdoms

The story of India is a sad one

And to have heard it once is enough

No more! No more I say,

Of all the blood shed

Wars between kith and kin

Leading only to more sin

For want of more land...

Land...Land is free

So are its people...

But they-their egos

Never agreed or knew.

Now here we all stand

Divided because of them,

Wars between religions still continue

From times old and new.

We should stop all of this,

And start afresh,

Open a new book,

And write a new story

To forget our terrible history....

10th grade ramblings

CAPTIVE LESSONS :

Eyes move tired
Across the numerous pages
Head aches with the burden of such knowledge
Books surround me
They will decide my fate
The executioners
For the answers they seek
I may not know.

This life is not for the meek
Not time to go slow
Fast,very fast
While we are bound in iron cast
Will we last
In such a competition?
A race for life
Coz’ we depend on this
It will decide
Whether we rise or fall

When the attestation comes
Some with detest go
Some cry, some laugh
Some have their fates sealed.

We all strive
In this dark world
Oblivious of anything
But our books.

Driven like slaves,
Going back and forth
We work and toil
And at last we succeed
Is it a vain hope?
It depends…
Oh! What did we do
To be held captive
By our own knowledge?


This poem was written during those first FEW frenetic and enthusiastic weeks of cramming in 10 th grade… I lost my interest after a while… I had the most fun of my life in 10th grade, managed not to study , have fun and still get 85 % and district 2nd in French! Amazing year!

PARTED

Written during the reshuffling of classes just as 10th std started...

I sit at my lonely desk

With thoughts about you, my friend

Long since I saw you

And my mind freely wanders

Thinking of Eden- paradise

Where you and I

Happily sing and dance

In a soulful trance

Moving round and round...

Together...holding hands

For this our last dance...

And then freedom will be bound...

A fate sent forth by our captive lessons